Misleading Misleading

I was surprised to find out that Grape Juicy Juice is not 100% grape juice. In fact, it's not even close. The company added just enough grape juice to die the mixture purple.

This is Wrong. If you buy a bottle of grape juice, you would expect it to be a mixture of grape juice and water, right? So when you buy a bottle of Grape Juicy Juice, a name that advertises, right on the bottle, more juiciness than your regular 100% grape juice, they're raising the bar. That bar is at 19'6", and Sven Gzevoltz isn't going to pole vault to the gold on Gatorade.

At the absolute minimum, one would expect 100% grape juice, at that merely ordinary 100% would only be justifiable if this unfermented wine were made up of powerful Schwarzenegger atoms that gave it a richer, more powerful flavor than competing juice. One could even reasonably expect super-saturated juice, like 150% or 200% juice, as if the Schwarzenegger atoms got drunk and made the water molecules flee to escape their repeated fondling.

Yet this "Juicy" Juice, or as I'll call it in a letter to their customer service office, "Purple Urine Acid," falls so short of its name that the juice mocks it.