Maybe Google is trying to tell me something by showing text ads for scams when I'm reading email from friends. Nice try, Meghan. You almost got me with Earth Day.
One ad has appeared several times and it is by far my favorite. It's a scam site about scam sites.
The brazenness of the entire enterprise is awesome. What's so funny is that the web site creator, "Danny", made the absolute minimum effort to fool people. It's Scam 1.0 from Web 1.0--no snazzy graphics or official-sounding dummy corporation like "Consumer Protection League" or "Web Business Bureau".
He didn't even bother to put names on the fake testimonials. How lazy is that? That's one of the reasons I like Danny's Scam Review. Danny has absolutely no respect for his target audience. I suspect if someone signed up for one of the scams he recommended, Danny would send that person an email saying "Got you, dipshit" followed by an ad for Donny's Scam Review beneath it ("Don't listen to Danny! These are the real non-scams!")
Some would assume that Danny is another morally bankrupt scam site operator willing to exploit people's gullibility for a quick buck. I don't. This web site is the equivalent of placing a wastebasket on the street with a sign that says, "PUT MONEY IN HERE." He set the stupidity bar so high that it almost absolves him from any moral culpability.
The underlying principle is that the amount of energy one puts towards tricking someone is tied to the amount of responsibility one has for the consequences. If you believe me if I tell you my name is JuJu the Conquerer, and I am wearing an ID badge with my photo and the name "Jason" on it, shame on you. If you believe me if I tell you my name is Ben, and I forge an ID with that name on it and get a friend to yell, "Hey, Ben!" when I am talking to you, then shame on me.
I suppose "Danny" is trying to trick people, but the effort put forth is so minimal that if it works, can he be blamed? I'm half-tempted to start Donny's Scam Review site, which would trash Danny and tell you the real secret information: it's all a scam. Except MakeMoneyWithJuJu.com.
March 31, 2007
March 28, 2007
March 23, 2007
How I Almost Killed Pancake City
Subtitle: Finally, it's finished.
I love my family. They are my biggest support network and constantly share their kindness with me. I wonder who reads my web page, but I know my family does. When I ran a contest a few weeks ago, Tina was the first to fulfill the stringent requirements (post a comment) and "won" a cartoon based on a word or phrase of her choice.
Her choice was "space monkey balls," which I later learned was her variation of my Flickr account name. Time passed. She bugged me about my progress. "Still in the conceptual phase, Tina. I'll have it done soon. Probably tomorrow. Tuesday at the latest."
More time passed. I had some difficultly moving past the conceptual phase, i.e. a sheet of paper separated in uneven quadrants. Tina kept bugging me. Finally, to motivate myself and to show my sister how important it was for me to make a cartoon for her, contrary to my lack of action, I said: "I tell you what. I won't make another post until I finish your cartoon."
Dumb idea. The overall dumbness of the idea is that if I had the skills to make workable self-motivation plans, I wouldn't have needed to make that promise in the first place.
The specific dumbness of the idea is that I, an incredibly lazy person, said, nay, promised, laid my integrity on the line, that come Satan's dominion or a great flood, I just wasn't going to do the ordinary work I avoid doing until I do the extra work that I'm really trying to avoid doing.
That happened two, three weeks ago? I could check, but again, re: laziness. What finally motivated me is Tina driving four hours to here to celebrate her birthday this weekend. The threat of a face-to-face meeting was a shameful enough thought to spur me to get the cartoon done.
Also, and I wish I was making this up, I kind of don't have her Christmas gift done yet, and I am hoping this appeases her for a few days.
The cartoon.
I love my family. They are my biggest support network and constantly share their kindness with me. I wonder who reads my web page, but I know my family does. When I ran a contest a few weeks ago, Tina was the first to fulfill the stringent requirements (post a comment) and "won" a cartoon based on a word or phrase of her choice.
Her choice was "space monkey balls," which I later learned was her variation of my Flickr account name. Time passed. She bugged me about my progress. "Still in the conceptual phase, Tina. I'll have it done soon. Probably tomorrow. Tuesday at the latest."
More time passed. I had some difficultly moving past the conceptual phase, i.e. a sheet of paper separated in uneven quadrants. Tina kept bugging me. Finally, to motivate myself and to show my sister how important it was for me to make a cartoon for her, contrary to my lack of action, I said: "I tell you what. I won't make another post until I finish your cartoon."
Dumb idea. The overall dumbness of the idea is that if I had the skills to make workable self-motivation plans, I wouldn't have needed to make that promise in the first place.
The specific dumbness of the idea is that I, an incredibly lazy person, said, nay, promised, laid my integrity on the line, that come Satan's dominion or a great flood, I just wasn't going to do the ordinary work I avoid doing until I do the extra work that I'm really trying to avoid doing.
That happened two, three weeks ago? I could check, but again, re: laziness. What finally motivated me is Tina driving four hours to here to celebrate her birthday this weekend. The threat of a face-to-face meeting was a shameful enough thought to spur me to get the cartoon done.
Also, and I wish I was making this up, I kind of don't have her Christmas gift done yet, and I am hoping this appeases her for a few days.
The cartoon.
March 07, 2007
Dude, Where's My Crust?
Someone--most likely evil space aliens (as if there were any other type!)--stole a large part of the Earth's crust.
That's not the fancy-shmancy "scientific" view, but dude, come on. It's obvious aliens took it to build more moon condos. Wake up and smell the coffee, which is made from dead bug larva. From the moooooon!
That's not the fancy-shmancy "scientific" view, but dude, come on. It's obvious aliens took it to build more moon condos. Wake up and smell the coffee, which is made from dead bug larva. From the moooooon!
March 04, 2007
The Other 364 Days
DISC JOCKEY1 VO: “Hello,
DISC JOCKEY2 VO: “More like “Smogshine” today. Yuck yuck!”
Bauer whacks snooze button.
Bauer’s alarm goes off.
STACY VO: "Bad news, Bob. Route 1 West is bumper to bumper after a tractor trailer hit another tractor trailer, which hit a school bus full of kittens. It’s going to be hours before—"
Bauer whacks snooze button.
Bauer’s alarm goes off.
DISC JOCKEY1 VO: “Okay, Leslie. If you can scream like a hyena for 107 seconds non-stop, we’ll give you 107 dollars of Q Cash. Go!”
LESLIE: "AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
Bauer grabs alarm clock and throws it across the room.
7:45 A.M.
Bauer is wearing an undershirt and boxers. He brushes his teeth for a few seconds, lifts up his undershirt, looks at his beer belly from the side, and sighs.
Bauer is in a Laundromat, removing laundry from a dryer. He hears a sharp sound. He quickly ducks and rolls to the side, coming up with his gun drawn. A squeaky rat scurries past him.
Bauer is making soup. He adds some vegetables, and then a skinned rat. The phone rings.
BAUER: “Bauer.” [caller says something unintelligble] “You have 15 seconds. Tell me everything you know about MCI.”
12:51:57
BAUER: “...and then my daughter, Kim, gets kidnapped, get this. Not once, not twice. Three times. In one day. [garbled] Yeah. Totally unbelievable. Wow, I can’t believe I finally told someone about my feelings. You’re a great listener. [long garbled] Uh, the thing is, CTU has a long-term contract with AT&T, and... [quickly] Gotta go.”
Bauer hangs up. The phone rings again. Bauer hesitates. He quickly picks up the phone and hangs it up again.
2:15 P.M.
BAUER is standing in front of a full-length mirror, and holding a long, pink dress. He holds it close to him, as if imagining what he looks like in it. He then throws the dress on the ground, too ashamed to look at it.”
BAUER: “No, no!”
3:30 P.M.
A teddy bear is tied to a chair. The bear is in poor condition. It is dirty and has a few limbs and body parts disconnected from his body. Bauer is holding a red and blue wire connected to a battery.
BAUER: “Where is the bomb? Where is the bomb! [pause] You brought this on yourself.”
BAUER shocks the teddy bear with the wires.
Bauer is watching a small TV in a dim-lit living room.
OPRAH VO: “Today on Oprah: Estranged fathers reunite with their sons.”
Bauer tears up and cries.
9:45 P.M.
BAUER is sitting on his bed, twiddling his fingers. He makes a phone call.
VOICE: “Hello, this is Audrey.” [BAUER breathes heavily] Hello?”
BAUER hangs up. He sighs, crawls into bed, and turns off the light.
March 01, 2007
Gmail Trivia
I had no idea: Gmail doesn't recognize dots in an email address. Yourname@gmail.com is functionally the same as Y.o.u.r...n.a.m.e@gmail.com .
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)