Dogs vs. Cats

I found a link to a Vancouver travel site in the “Failed Referrers” section of my web page stats. It's a list of broken links that people are trying to reach, mostly missing photos that didn't get transferred when I switched web hosts.

A few dozen people have been unsuccessfully trying to find a photo that used to be on my web site. I clicked the link to see what Vancouver wanted from Pancake City.

Surprise #1: The link, to a message board discussion, had nothing to do with travel or Vancouver. It was a long, angry argument on which was better, cats or dogs.

Surprise #2: It was absolutely hilarious.

I searched Google's cache to see the photo they were trying to find. It was of a cat holding a sniper rifle while perched in a window sill.

I was going to post snippets of the discussion, but the first half-page is so funny that you have to read the whole thing.

"Get back to the thread DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS!!!!"

Pretty Cute Kitty...

One of the Wii Kitties.

I have a lot of things I want to write about, but if I don't write them down soon, I'm going to forget them. Notes for myself:

sake, Mom's Christmas tree, family comments, podcast, bad dog, james bond, robot chicken, "let the cat out of the bag", poop bag review

Neighborhood Cat

There's a friendly, grey cat that roams around the neighborhood during the day. She nestles up to everyone that walks by her, and a few times she (successfully) snuck into my house when I opened the door and made herself at home.

A few days ago, she was sitting on the sidewalk, looking at a mother and her two daughters who were a few feet away. The Mom was panicky and had her arms around her children. "Stay back! Don't go near it!"

The cat cocked her head. The Mom realized it would take a valiant effort to protect her daughters from the ferocious beast. "Shoot, cat! Shoo!"

No response. Now before I give the conclusion to this story, I have to say that I have no idea why the cat's presence triggered a neurotic reaction. Or why, if the cat was so threatening, she and her daughters didn't "think outside the box" and walk around the cat.

Perhaps this was her first encounter with a feline. It would explain why, when "Shoo!" didn't work, she stepped towards the cat, raised her arms like a bear, and yelled, "DOG!"

I was watching this from across the street. It took me a few seconds to laugh because first I had to process the thought, "Did she just try to scare a cat away by yelling 'dog'?" Then, after a moment's reflection, the sweet realization of "Oh yes she did."

Any cat that would actually be scared by the threat of an imaginary dog would have a peculiar intelligence: smart enough to understand human language, yet dumb enough to be tricked by a childish ploy. A cat that would be able to get her paws in a finger trap, but not be able to get them out.

Eventually, the cat gave up on them and walked away. But she made sure to wait several seconds so the Mom wouldn't think it was because she was scared of the "dog".

Present for Black Cat

For Christmas, I gave Black Cat a photo of herself. She wasn't very appreciative though.




Mom--a.k.a. "Grandma Tuna"--sorry, but the truth hurts.

See, Cats ARE Useful

Stuff on My Cat (Thanks, Amy)

Outdoor Cat

As a dog walker, the concept of an outdoor cat amuses me.

CAT OWNER1: "Friskers is an indoor cat. He loves sitting on his post and staring out the window."
CAT OWNER1: "Not Mittens. Mittens is an outdoor cat. She'll roam around outside all day, but she always comes home for dinner."

Ha! In the dog world, there are no outdoor dogs. There are indoor dogs, and dogs that escaped. A dog is like a lifer in the state penitentiary who has shown exemplary behavior for the past 20 years until the guard leaves the gate open a crack. See ya. Thanks for the kibble! I'll come home right after I tire of freedom.

And people wonder: "But he was such a good dog. Why would he run away?"

I don't know--adventure, peeing wherever he wants, eating pizza scraps on the ground, staying outside until his heart is content...

It's the same thing with relationships. "But he was such a good boyfriend. Why would he leave me?" I don't know--adventure, peeing wherever he wants, eating pizza scraps on the ground...

Friday Cat Blogging

I've long envied cat owners for their ability to take part in Friday Cat Blogging (where, as the name says, you post a photo of your cat on your blog on Friday).

Then I realized: "Hey, I can just sneak into my neighbor's house in the middle of the night, steal his cat, and a beer or two, no more than three, take a few photos, and then when my neighbor storms into my house demanding I return his pet, as he did last night, I can pretend to be deranged and claim the cat is infused with the spirit of the sun devil and must be cleansed through his soul entering the all-seeing eye.

The plan worked perfectly. And the beers were delicious.

Immature Tuesday: Part 1 of 2

My friend, Amy, forwarded me this video with the comment "Cat unlikely to be adopted." The video is of an animal shelter worker holding and describing a cat, Pinky, the Pet of the Week.

After ten seconds, I knew what would happen. The guy's getting it in the balls. People don't send video clips of cats and men that end up snuggling together, unless the snuggling is the precursor for some claw-on-ball action. I still watched it, of course.

The video is like a microcosm of a summer action blockbuster. You know the good guys are going to win, and you can usually predict the whole movie after the first five minutes, but it's still fun to watch the debacle unfold.

Go ahead. Try not to watch the video. Stay at home for Episode III. Tell yourself you're going to accomplish something by 40. Many an empire were built on a foundation of lies.

Grey Kitty Update

From Red Ralph:

"Last night after coming home from the vet Grey Kitty punched the black cat on the nose, took a swipe at Michele, and took a piss on our pillow. Michele has been heard under her breath saying things like "I hate Grey Kitty". Last night we changed Grey Kitty’s name to Rosemary's Baby.

Black Cat's name is still up in the air, but we are leaning towards Bird-Dog (or perhaps Bird-Dawg). That being said, name suggestions would still be very helpful."

Roommate Hunt

I am looking for a roommate. The old one got arrested for cocaine trafficking by the DEA last weekend. Or he moved out. I forget. This is the ad for the place. If you find me a roommate, I will give you a cupcake.

My Mom is looking for someone to rent her house in Rockville. Rent is $1650 and it is a five-minute walk from the Rockville Metro. There is also an ad for this place, and that ad can be found here. Just kidding. Here. If you find my Mom a family to rent her house, I will take you out to dinner to The Melting Pot or a similar-quality restaurant.

Feeling Down?

If you are feeling a little depressed, click on this link. It will cheer you up.