* I enjoyed the thoughtful responses in the previous post. And the thoughtless response, "Red truck good war ice cream!"
* You know how some people begin talking about a complicated subject with, "I'm no expert or anything, but…"? Is it just me, or is this the linguistic equivalent of prefacing your sentence, "Now, I'm a dumb ass, but…"?
June 30, 2004
June 29, 2004
What responsibility comes with truth?
Let's say a friend is taking a herbal supplement for depression, like St. John's Wort. He tells you how much better he feels after taking it for a few weeks. Later, you read in the newspaper about a long-term, comprehensive study that says it proves that the herbal supplement has no medical affect. Do you tell your friend about the study?
And what conditions, if any, would make you change your answer?
And what conditions, if any, would make you change your answer?
June 28, 2004
In politics, the phrase "new low" is used so often in fits of hyperbole that it is almost a signal that the person using it is biased and exaggerating. So I hesitate about calling this a new low from the Bush campaign. But I can't think of a better candidate.
Several months ago, Moveon.org ran a contest where people could submit 30-second political commercials against President Bush. The best commercial would be aired a few times on national TV.
Over 1,500 ads were submitted and posted on the web site so people could vote for their favorites. One of these ads compared George Bush to Hitler. I'm not familiar with Moveon.org's screening process and whether anyone saw the ad before it was posted. Regardless, the ad shouldn't have been on the site because, in theory, it could have won. Also, it insulted a lot of fans of Hitler.
RNC Chairman Ed Gillespie and other conservative groups tried to equate the view in the ad with the views of Moveon.org and called on the nine Democratic presidential candidates at the time to denounce the ad, Moveon.org, and just for good measure, other evil groups like Planned Parenthood and Trader Joe's. Moveon.org pulled the ad, denounced the views expressed in it, and a few days later the RNC moved on to the next scandal: John Kerry's Botox injections.
That's the background for what may be the Bush campaign's new low, a new advertisement that tries to tie the aforementioned ad to John Kerry. The Bush campaign's ad is on the campaign site's front page, and contains many informative facts I did not know, like Al Gore compared President Bush to Hitler in a speech. How the hell did Gore keep that faux pas from every single major and minor media outlet? Maybe that was when he had a beard and no one was listening to him.
I should mention that, on a comedy note, the end is absolutely hilarious.
Several months ago, Moveon.org ran a contest where people could submit 30-second political commercials against President Bush. The best commercial would be aired a few times on national TV.
Over 1,500 ads were submitted and posted on the web site so people could vote for their favorites. One of these ads compared George Bush to Hitler. I'm not familiar with Moveon.org's screening process and whether anyone saw the ad before it was posted. Regardless, the ad shouldn't have been on the site because, in theory, it could have won. Also, it insulted a lot of fans of Hitler.
RNC Chairman Ed Gillespie and other conservative groups tried to equate the view in the ad with the views of Moveon.org and called on the nine Democratic presidential candidates at the time to denounce the ad, Moveon.org, and just for good measure, other evil groups like Planned Parenthood and Trader Joe's. Moveon.org pulled the ad, denounced the views expressed in it, and a few days later the RNC moved on to the next scandal: John Kerry's Botox injections.
That's the background for what may be the Bush campaign's new low, a new advertisement that tries to tie the aforementioned ad to John Kerry. The Bush campaign's ad is on the campaign site's front page, and contains many informative facts I did not know, like Al Gore compared President Bush to Hitler in a speech. How the hell did Gore keep that faux pas from every single major and minor media outlet? Maybe that was when he had a beard and no one was listening to him.
I should mention that, on a comedy note, the end is absolutely hilarious.
June 25, 2004
Things You Don't Want To Hear
…about your new haircut.
"Did you do that on purpose?"
…after telling someone that you walk dogs.
"Oh, Jason. Always with the jokes."
…from an audience member at an open mike after a particularly bad stuttering day.
"What's the deal with your stuttering? I mean, you don't really stutter that much, do you?"
Speaking of which, I'll be in Baltimore at the National Stuttering Association convention for the next few days. It started today; I got back a hour ago. I rented a SUV and I'm commuting from home (60 miles one way) in an attempt to simultaneously destroy the environment and save money. You know how some people in DC sell The Washington Post or bags of fruit while people are stopped at red lights? Today, I saw a man selling hair clippers.
(About the quotes: friends told me the first two, and I was instantly amused. The third happened almost a year ago, and while I think about the comment rarely, part of me hasn't yet released the Anger Bird so it can fly over the ocean and eventually drown in the Sea of Forgiveness due to starvation, the lack of food caused by overfishing of the Carp of Seething Resentment by the Wharfing Boats of Willy-Nilly. )
"Did you do that on purpose?"
…after telling someone that you walk dogs.
"Oh, Jason. Always with the jokes."
…from an audience member at an open mike after a particularly bad stuttering day.
"What's the deal with your stuttering? I mean, you don't really stutter that much, do you?"
Speaking of which, I'll be in Baltimore at the National Stuttering Association convention for the next few days. It started today; I got back a hour ago. I rented a SUV and I'm commuting from home (60 miles one way) in an attempt to simultaneously destroy the environment and save money. You know how some people in DC sell The Washington Post or bags of fruit while people are stopped at red lights? Today, I saw a man selling hair clippers.
(About the quotes: friends told me the first two, and I was instantly amused. The third happened almost a year ago, and while I think about the comment rarely, part of me hasn't yet released the Anger Bird so it can fly over the ocean and eventually drown in the Sea of Forgiveness due to starvation, the lack of food caused by overfishing of the Carp of Seething Resentment by the Wharfing Boats of Willy-Nilly. )
June 23, 2004
Pancake City Contest
During an interview with NPR today, Clinton was asked if he thought the U.S. intelligence bureaus should be restructured so they came under one, overarching department. Clinton gave a qualified yes. He said it would be a good idea on the condition that the restructuring did not create an atmosphere where homogeneous opinions would be encouraged and dissenting views suppressed.
Clinton's answer gave me an idea for another sporadic Pancake City contest. The contest: the first person to hear President Bush say a four syllable word gets a prize.
The rules:
1. The word must be four or more syllables.
2. Compound words and proper names are not valid (e.g. "evil-doers," "Condoleezza").
3. The word must have as many syllables as it is supposed to have.
4. Excluded words: all forms of terrorist and intelligence (e.g. "terrorisms," "intelligenced")
The first person to post the word, preferably with the context and time heard, wins a yet-to-be determined prize. Something small but personalized. The contest end date is whenever this post leaves the main page, approximately a week from now.
Good luck and happy hunting.
Clinton's answer gave me an idea for another sporadic Pancake City contest. The contest: the first person to hear President Bush say a four syllable word gets a prize.
The rules:
1. The word must be four or more syllables.
2. Compound words and proper names are not valid (e.g. "evil-doers," "Condoleezza").
3. The word must have as many syllables as it is supposed to have.
4. Excluded words: all forms of terrorist and intelligence (e.g. "terrorisms," "intelligenced")
The first person to post the word, preferably with the context and time heard, wins a yet-to-be determined prize. Something small but personalized. The contest end date is whenever this post leaves the main page, approximately a week from now.
Good luck and happy hunting.
June 22, 2004
There's a giant company in my closet
Monster.com's current ad campaign features job hunters describing their skills and what they can offer to employers. The TV ads are a mix of folksiness and oatmeal container slogans. "Hi, I'm Bud. I have 23 years experience in systems engineering and analysis. If you want something done, I'll do it right. The way it should be done."
The tagline is, "There are thousands of candidates just like Bud on Monster.com," which is good, because this Bud doesn't come in a six-pack. But the message distracts from the real point. If your job web site has to resort to promoting unemployed people in a national television campaign to find them work, then either you need to expand the search engine categories from "easy work," "hard work," and "work it like a Polaroid", or the economy is doing much worse than any of us have thought.
The first time I saw this commercial, I expected it to end with "I'm John Kerry and I approved of this ad." A few tweaks and it becomes a diatribe against President Bush.
"Hi, I'm Bud. Thanks to George Bush, I have to appear in 1.2 million homes five times a week to even hope of tasting once again the sweet nectar of a full-time job. I can barely afford to feed my children. Bud Light is starving and last week, my daughter, Bud Dry, went to the hospital for dehydration. I can’t even afford the drugs she needs in America. If it weren't for our friends, the Molson's, we'd be on the street, lying in a gutter somewhere."
The tagline is, "There are thousands of candidates just like Bud on Monster.com," which is good, because this Bud doesn't come in a six-pack. But the message distracts from the real point. If your job web site has to resort to promoting unemployed people in a national television campaign to find them work, then either you need to expand the search engine categories from "easy work," "hard work," and "work it like a Polaroid", or the economy is doing much worse than any of us have thought.
The first time I saw this commercial, I expected it to end with "I'm John Kerry and I approved of this ad." A few tweaks and it becomes a diatribe against President Bush.
"Hi, I'm Bud. Thanks to George Bush, I have to appear in 1.2 million homes five times a week to even hope of tasting once again the sweet nectar of a full-time job. I can barely afford to feed my children. Bud Light is starving and last week, my daughter, Bud Dry, went to the hospital for dehydration. I can’t even afford the drugs she needs in America. If it weren't for our friends, the Molson's, we'd be on the street, lying in a gutter somewhere."
Daily Show
If you missed The Daily Show last night, go out of your way to catch the first 10 minutes of the repeat tonight at 7:00 (in the DC area). It encapsulates the best about The Daily Show and reminds one of the worst habits of major media outlets: avoiding or being timid about saying the truth in fear of seeming biased.
June 21, 2004
Random Thoughts
* I saw a video clip of Britney Spears after her knee injury. Britney Spears is the only person in the world who can wear a full-leg cast and still show some butt cheek.
* I stutter a lot on vowels. I'm the only American who wishes he was born in a better place: Kyrgyzstan. Maybe the two countries can set up an exchange program with me and a stutterer we know loves apple pie, aspires to assist others, and absolutely hates the KKK.
* In my sketch writing class yesterday, we each made a list of three emotions, three professions, and three physical deformities. We put each word on a separate slip of paper, organized them into three piles, and picked one from each pile to generate a character. My list is "confused, carpenter, no hair". At the end of the class, the instructor asked three of us to hold onto a pile for next week.
I got the physical deformity pile. When I woke up today for a walk, I found out that the slips of paper fell out of my notebook and were scattered on the ground. I wonder what people walking by thought of seeing a pile of paper with words on it like "deformed head," "No Leg (amputee)" and "dozens of ears."
* I stutter a lot on vowels. I'm the only American who wishes he was born in a better place: Kyrgyzstan. Maybe the two countries can set up an exchange program with me and a stutterer we know loves apple pie, aspires to assist others, and absolutely hates the KKK.
* In my sketch writing class yesterday, we each made a list of three emotions, three professions, and three physical deformities. We put each word on a separate slip of paper, organized them into three piles, and picked one from each pile to generate a character. My list is "confused, carpenter, no hair". At the end of the class, the instructor asked three of us to hold onto a pile for next week.
I got the physical deformity pile. When I woke up today for a walk, I found out that the slips of paper fell out of my notebook and were scattered on the ground. I wonder what people walking by thought of seeing a pile of paper with words on it like "deformed head," "No Leg (amputee)" and "dozens of ears."
June 18, 2004
June 17, 2004
WP Headlines
9/11 Plot Vetted by Bin Laden
See? Vetted. It's everywhere. It's the new "Kiss my grits."
O'Brien to Leave 'Access Hollywood'
Cites contractual dispute, co-hosts calling his reporting "O'crap."
Al Qaeda-Iraq Link Dismissed
Cheney acknowledges error, admits he should have stuck with original "Al Qaeda-Kevin Bacon-Iraq" link. Rues Cheney: "When you're making a Truth Sandwich, you can't leave out the Bacon."
Retired Diplomats Assail Bush Team
Retired diplomats join active diplomats, part-time diplomats, career diplomats, temporary diplomats, wipe you feet on the diplomat, the cast of Sesame Street, and other people who hate freedom.
See? Vetted. It's everywhere. It's the new "Kiss my grits."
O'Brien to Leave 'Access Hollywood'
Cites contractual dispute, co-hosts calling his reporting "O'crap."
Al Qaeda-Iraq Link Dismissed
Cheney acknowledges error, admits he should have stuck with original "Al Qaeda-Kevin Bacon-Iraq" link. Rues Cheney: "When you're making a Truth Sandwich, you can't leave out the Bacon."
Retired Diplomats Assail Bush Team
Retired diplomats join active diplomats, part-time diplomats, career diplomats, temporary diplomats, wipe you feet on the diplomat, the cast of Sesame Street, and other people who hate freedom.
June 15, 2004
Sketch Writing
The DC-based Theater Lab is offering a six-week sketch writing class. The class is $180 and starts this Sunday. I took it when it was last offered, a year and a half ago, and I'm taking it again. If you want more info about it, see the hyperlinked word "class" up above? Don't click on it. Click on this link instead.
Sending Ripples Through The Pond
Even though Google's free email service, Gmail, is still in its beta stage and unavailable to the general public, it is already affecting its competitors. Yahoo! announced today that it is raising the storage limit on its free acconts from 5 mb to 100 mb and its attachment limit from 2 mb to 10 mb. Google offers 1 gig of storage.
While Yahoo! still offers an upgraded account with 2 gigs, they have acknowledged the obvious: no one is going to be making money from offering more email storage from now on. I'll be shocked if Hotmail doesn't follow Yahoo!'s lead in the next few weeks. It's inconvenience to switch email accounts, but 998 extra megabytes of storage and a spam-free account (at least for the first days) does a lot to quell inconvenience.
While Yahoo! still offers an upgraded account with 2 gigs, they have acknowledged the obvious: no one is going to be making money from offering more email storage from now on. I'll be shocked if Hotmail doesn't follow Yahoo!'s lead in the next few weeks. It's inconvenience to switch email accounts, but 998 extra megabytes of storage and a spam-free account (at least for the first days) does a lot to quell inconvenience.
June 13, 2004
Word of the Year
vetted
I may say something more profound than this later, but suffice to say I strongly suspect that, besides the word's unfortunate lack of the letter 's', the word 'vetted' has been printed more times in the last year than the previously five combined.
I may say something more profound than this later, but suffice to say I strongly suspect that, besides the word's unfortunate lack of the letter 's', the word 'vetted' has been printed more times in the last year than the previously five combined.
June 11, 2004
Steven Wright
Steven Wright is performing at DC's Warner Theater on Friday June 18, 2004. Tickets are $30.50, not including Ticketmaster's well-deserved $7.20 convenience fee. I didn't know Steven Wright was still performing. The ticket price is on the edge of how much I'm willing to pay and I'm thinking of going. The only caveat is that I hear he turned into a prop comic.
The Road To Nowhere
Perhaps this isn't the best metaphor Bush wants for his campaign.
(P.S. Anyone want to get me an early birthday present?)
(P.S. Anyone want to get me an early birthday present?)
June 10, 2004
Today's Web Poll
Do you think Ronald Reagan should be on the $1, $5, $10 and $20 bills, or just the $1, $5 and $10?
This is an unscientific non-interactive poll.
This is an unscientific non-interactive poll.
June 07, 2004
I MUST KNOW WHO RANCE IS!!!!
Rance is a blogger who has become an Internet celebrity in the past few months. You see, Rance says he is a celebrity...but he won't tell us which one!
So, many of the fluff news sites (AOL, MSN, etc.) and a few of the non-fluff ones have written articles on this amazing mystery.
To me, the mystery is simple. One, it's not Ben Stiller. He's too busy appearing in 43% of the summer movies. And it's not anyone really famous because they have people to write their blogs for them. So who's a well-known actor that is only moderately popular and has the free time to tell people about his life?
I'll link to the answer so you can try to figure it out for yourself, but the clue is in his name, Rance. Or, if you add an F, France.
I hope Rance is just a regular guy playing a prank and posts a message like this one day:
"Hey all you fools who have been reading about what groceries I bought and how many times a week I do laundry. Well, guess what? I wasn't folding celebrity underwear. I was folding my own underwear. HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
So, many of the fluff news sites (AOL, MSN, etc.) and a few of the non-fluff ones have written articles on this amazing mystery.
To me, the mystery is simple. One, it's not Ben Stiller. He's too busy appearing in 43% of the summer movies. And it's not anyone really famous because they have people to write their blogs for them. So who's a well-known actor that is only moderately popular and has the free time to tell people about his life?
I'll link to the answer so you can try to figure it out for yourself, but the clue is in his name, Rance. Or, if you add an F, France.
I hope Rance is just a regular guy playing a prank and posts a message like this one day:
"Hey all you fools who have been reading about what groceries I bought and how many times a week I do laundry. Well, guess what? I wasn't folding celebrity underwear. I was folding my own underwear. HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
June 06, 2004
Dream
I rarely remember my dreams unless I have them after I wake up and go back to sleep. Sometimes I wish I could remember more of them, and other times I'm glad I'm not because the parts I do remember are weird.
One fragment from today: I'm outside with some people I don't know in a grassy landscape with tress and hills around. Everything has a blue tint to it, some parts more than others. The tree leafs are a midnight blue and the trunk is cloaked in shadow. The grass is cyan, and it looks like it is night time with a strong moon out. I complain, "They got it wrong. There's too much blue in here." I was irritated because I felt someone didn't know what they were doing in Photoshop. Then the sun comes out, and the yellow light mixes with the blue to turn everything that should be green to green. I said something like, "Oh, now I get it. That's cool."
I read that men dream about strangers more often than women. It is at least true for me.
One fragment from today: I'm outside with some people I don't know in a grassy landscape with tress and hills around. Everything has a blue tint to it, some parts more than others. The tree leafs are a midnight blue and the trunk is cloaked in shadow. The grass is cyan, and it looks like it is night time with a strong moon out. I complain, "They got it wrong. There's too much blue in here." I was irritated because I felt someone didn't know what they were doing in Photoshop. Then the sun comes out, and the yellow light mixes with the blue to turn everything that should be green to green. I said something like, "Oh, now I get it. That's cool."
I read that men dream about strangers more often than women. It is at least true for me.
June 05, 2004
What I Learned Today
Occasionally I list interesting tidbits that I learned during the day. I do it mostly for myself because if I don't repeat what I learn either through telling it to someone or writing about it, I usually forget it. I suspect my friends wonder why I start random conversations about the Ugandan porn industry, but my friends are patient folk, so they deal with it.
What I Read Today
On the firing of George Tenet: "One George down, one to go."
Quote of the Day
Do your best not to say, "I told you so." Instead, say what you really think: "If I'd ran your life, we'd both be happy."
Company Names of the Day
(for a dog translator): Bowlingual
(yes, it's a real site) : Egay
What I Learned Today
Dolphins use whistles as names for each other. They get their whistle-name from their mothers when they are born. Males get whistles similar to their mothers; females get whistles different from their mothers. So some times, when a dolphin whistles. he is saying the equivalent of, "Hey Bob. Are you there?" And if Bob is nearby, he'll whistle Charlie's name. "Charlie, I'm caught in a tuna net. Help!" And Charlie will respond, "Hell no. They already named their mascot after me. I'm on Starkist's Ten Most Wanted list. When Starkist renames their "fish" Bob, give me a whistle." (book)
Theory of the Day
A few years ago, I had a powerful sense of déjà vu when I was talking to a clerk in a camping store. I had a gut feeling that I had met that person before but I didn't know where. In the car ride home, I realized that I had met someone the week before who looked very similar to him.
What made me think about déjà vu today I do not remember, but I have a theory about why it happens. Déjà vu occurs when someone is in a situation similar to one he has been in before but can not fully remember what the original situation is. As a corollary, people who can store a lot of information but are poor at recalling it experience déjà vu more often than people with better memories.
In other words, when one feels the sensation of déjà vu, there is a good reason for feeling it.
What I Read Today
On the firing of George Tenet: "One George down, one to go."
Quote of the Day
Do your best not to say, "I told you so." Instead, say what you really think: "If I'd ran your life, we'd both be happy."
Company Names of the Day
(for a dog translator): Bowlingual
(yes, it's a real site) : Egay
What I Learned Today
Dolphins use whistles as names for each other. They get their whistle-name from their mothers when they are born. Males get whistles similar to their mothers; females get whistles different from their mothers. So some times, when a dolphin whistles. he is saying the equivalent of, "Hey Bob. Are you there?" And if Bob is nearby, he'll whistle Charlie's name. "Charlie, I'm caught in a tuna net. Help!" And Charlie will respond, "Hell no. They already named their mascot after me. I'm on Starkist's Ten Most Wanted list. When Starkist renames their "fish" Bob, give me a whistle." (book)
Theory of the Day
A few years ago, I had a powerful sense of déjà vu when I was talking to a clerk in a camping store. I had a gut feeling that I had met that person before but I didn't know where. In the car ride home, I realized that I had met someone the week before who looked very similar to him.
What made me think about déjà vu today I do not remember, but I have a theory about why it happens. Déjà vu occurs when someone is in a situation similar to one he has been in before but can not fully remember what the original situation is. As a corollary, people who can store a lot of information but are poor at recalling it experience déjà vu more often than people with better memories.
In other words, when one feels the sensation of déjà vu, there is a good reason for feeling it.
If Drugs Were Named After Video Games
"You wanna do some Super Mario? It'll get you real high."
Sometimes I think there is a heavenly battle for my soul. You see, the devil made my roommate buy an XBox. So God steps in and kills the heat sink in the Xbox so my roommate has to return it. So the devil retaliates by not only making my roommate exchange it, but by giving him a two-week project that sucks up all of his free time, and sending my other roommate on a trip for the weekend. God says, "Screw that. I'm going to scratch your "Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic" disk and I'll scratch the next one if you try to rent it from a different video store." Which I did.
That's where I stand today. To give you some background, and I say this without irony, I have a video game addiction. I have no problem using the word addiction because in the past, there have been moments where I have skipped meals so I wouldn't have to stop, lost interest in my normal activities (like writing for this blog), and thought about a game obsessively when I had to be away from it.
I've gotten much better at handling my bad habits with video and computer games. For the most part, I'm able to stay away from playing them (moderation isn't effective for me) and the few times recently I have caved in and went on a binge, it has been easier for me to stop when I needed to. But at the same time, I'm glad the game is too frustrating to play for long because it is scratched. It makes leaving the house much easier.
Sometimes I think there is a heavenly battle for my soul. You see, the devil made my roommate buy an XBox. So God steps in and kills the heat sink in the Xbox so my roommate has to return it. So the devil retaliates by not only making my roommate exchange it, but by giving him a two-week project that sucks up all of his free time, and sending my other roommate on a trip for the weekend. God says, "Screw that. I'm going to scratch your "Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic" disk and I'll scratch the next one if you try to rent it from a different video store." Which I did.
That's where I stand today. To give you some background, and I say this without irony, I have a video game addiction. I have no problem using the word addiction because in the past, there have been moments where I have skipped meals so I wouldn't have to stop, lost interest in my normal activities (like writing for this blog), and thought about a game obsessively when I had to be away from it.
I've gotten much better at handling my bad habits with video and computer games. For the most part, I'm able to stay away from playing them (moderation isn't effective for me) and the few times recently I have caved in and went on a binge, it has been easier for me to stop when I needed to. But at the same time, I'm glad the game is too frustrating to play for long because it is scratched. It makes leaving the house much easier.
June 01, 2004
Thanks for the Hype, Disney
Fahrenheit 911 to come out June 25th.
- "I am grateful to them now that everyone who wants to see it will now have the chance to do so," Moore said in a statement.
"On behalf of my stellar cast — GW, Dick, Rummy, Condi and Wolfie — we thank this incredible coalition of the willing for bringing 'Fahrenheit 9/11' to the people."
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