Cause I have Nothing Else To Write About

My nomination for the "Pet of the Month" at the dog walking business I work for:

Nugget and Cubby are two Jack Russell terriers that seem to never, ever, get tired. When we get back from a walk, a.k.a. "Squirrel Chasing Festival 2005" they lap up a bit of water and then run back to the door, hoping I’ll have a brain aneurism and take them back outside (we’re 0 for 323, but they keep trying).

They make me laugh almost every day. When I come in, sometimes Nugget will drag out the "Welcoming Blanket" from her cage. Cubby, a few years younger than Nugget and unfamiliar with some higher forms of nomenclature, will misinterpret the Welcoming Blanket as the "War Blanket" and begin tugging it. Nugget then drops the name Welcoming Blanket and rechristens it "The Bestest, Most Important Blanket in the Whole Wide World, Which Must Be Kept from Cubby at all Costs". So they then fight each other for Super Blanket until I step in, when in a coincidental fit of dual amnesia, they both flip over for belly rubs.

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The problem with the headline, "Gamma storm toll in Honduras rises to 32" is that while it's a horrible natural disaster, I can't help thinking of the Fantastic Four.

Adventures in Dog Walking...OF THE MIND!!!

I wrote this poem today while walking Mickey, a squirrrel-obsessed pooch.

Squirrels, squirrels, everywhere
Jumping through the air
Seemingly without a care
Torturing poor Mickey
Playing with him they dare
Soon, he will catch them all
Snag them one by one
It will be fun
To see them run
Futilely to their lairs
Then they will be gone
And Mickey will stand
Over their corpses and bloody hair
Happy and unaware
Seemingly without a care

Adventures in Dog Walking

* During one of my walks, a woman with a worried look on her face stopped her car and rolled down her window. "Have you seen two dogs with leashes running around?"

"No," I said, "but maybe if you loved them, they wouldn't have run away."


* I got annoyed at one of the dogs I was walking and called him a mutt. He was hurt. I tried apologizing. "I'm sorry. It was in the heat of the moment. I know you're not a mutt, Lancelot. Do you want a treat? Who wants a treat? Who wants a treat?"

He didn't want a treat. He was still mad at me, until this happened: 15 seconds passed. Dogs have horrible memories. Stupid mutts.

Link-Tastic

NPR's Talk of the Nation played a few songs by solo artist Andrew Bird. His song, 'Skin Is, My' is one of the best I've heard this year.

Top Ten Science Pictures

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The Washington Post's Style section had a blurb on Dr. Phil's recent visit to Washington D.C. It reported that he had a bodyguard everywhere he went.

People who give good advice don't need bodyguards.

Happy Voting Day

It’s election day in Virginia. It’s a real "horserace". Political pundits are calling the race "neck and neck" because the candidates are "actually horses" and not "people". Tim Kaine likes to eat apples. Jerry Kilgore will crap on your children.

If you live in Virginia, I strongly encourage you to vote. The race is very close, making everyone’s votes marginally less worthless. I almost always vote, but I understand the "What’s one vote going to do?" sentiment many people have. That’s why we should take advantage of electronic voting machine technology and randomly select a person to get 10,000 votes. If you’re the person, after you vote, a flashing pop-up box will appear:

"YOU’RE A WINNER! YOU JUST GAVE WRITE-IN CANDIDATE "voting suxs" 10,000 VOTES. WOULD YOU LIKE TO COMPLETE A SURVEY FOR A CHANCE TO WIN $50?"

Virginia is one of the most conservative states in the U.S. When Democratic governors get elected, it’s by narrow margins. I hope the Democratic candidate, Tim Kaine, wins. Overall, he seems much more fiscally responsible and realistic than Jerry Kilgore. Also, I like his campaign policy of "No using the name of Hitler in ads against my opponent." But it’s hard seeing Virginia elect a Democrat for governor two elections in a row.

Halloween, 2

Damn kids. I bought $8 of candy, and not a single kid knocked on our door for Halloween. I even left the outdoor light on this year. And removed the guard dog. Well, it was a garden gnome, but kids are very sensitive, and I'm a compassionate being.

Damn kids.

Part I of the First Part of the First Day in Ireland

No exaggeration. I took a lot of pictures the first day. It was sunny and everything was new. (on Flickr)

By the way, Google's Picasa is an absolutely awesome photo editing and organization program. It does 80% of what I use Photoshop for, it's much quicker and easier to use, and it's free. It doesn't have the fine-tuning available in Photoshop, but it's good enough for most photos.