Local Man Definitely Moving To Canada This Time If Bush Wins

Madison, WI-- Dwayne Jones announced to his roommates yesterday that if President Bush gets reelected, he is "definitely move to Canada" this time.

"I'm outta here, man" said Jones. "If the dude is still in the White House on Nov. 3^rd, start looking for a new roommate."

Jones, who previously said he would move to Canada after the 2000 election, the invasion of Iraq, and the first Presidential debate, claims his strengthened resolve will carry him through.

"I'm fucking serious this time," said Jones. "I called my friend in Vancouver yesterday and he said it would be totally cool if I came up to chill. And my sister has a suitcase she almost never uses that I could borrow."

In spite of Jones' enthusiasm, some of his roommates remain skeptical about Jones' plans.

"He's always saying he's going to leave for Canada," said Andrew Griffin. "He can't even leave the Xbox. And he keeps turning up the heat to 75 degrees when I'm not looking. How's he going to survive in Canada?"

If Jones has heard any of this criticism, he has not let it sway him. During a commercial break for Half-Baked on Comedy Central, Jones visited the Greyhound website, bookmarked the site, and made a note to check the price on a one-way fare once the movie was over.