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All I have to say about the debate tonight is that George Bush likes the No Child Left Behind Act.

Really, really, really likes the No Child Left Behind Act.

If the No Child Left Behind Act were a woman, George would stroke her hair, soft as rose-petals, and whipser into her ear, "Baby, you're the only one for me."

Dick and Rummy would visit less often. They would come over to shoot some hoops, Cheney in a loose-fitting muscle T with the head hole stretched out, Rummy with the ball and a blue scrunchie around his forehead.

Dick would ask, "You meet that guy who moved in yesterday, Minimum Wayge? He's seems kind of creepy" and George would flutter his eyelids and say, "Yeah, she's beautiful."

Rummy would roll his eyes. "What's wrong with you, G? You used to be part of the crew. Cold chilling and all that. Now all you do with talk about is her. If you like her so much, why don't you marry her?"

But Rummy's words were lost from the beginning because they fell upon the ears of a deaf man. A man in love.