You know your legal defense is is trouble when...
Your supporters defend you by using a video clip from the Colbert Report.
May 22, 2006
Names
Have you ever overheard a person's name that is so weird that you feel compelled to turn around and look at the person, as if to confirm the name belongs to a human and not, for example, a turtle, or a dog?
"Hey, Pixel, wait up!" (Pixel?)
Well, that's how I felt yesterday when I overheard a dog owner talk to his dog, Bob.
"Hey, Pixel, wait up!" (Pixel?)
Well, that's how I felt yesterday when I overheard a dog owner talk to his dog, Bob.
Barbaro Can Stand!
(from the Washington Post, in regards to an accident at the Kentucky Derby)
"The news came as a huge relief to those who had stood vigil outside the hospital and to Barbaro's fan base, which had grown exponentially in number since the jockey's dominant victory at the Kentucky Derby on May 6."
Oops. I made a typo. The vigil wasn't held for a jockey. Barbaro is the horse.
I can understand the horse's owner and those who take care of him being deeply concerned. But that's not the image I get from "vigil." I picture a few dozen people holding candles and swaying back and forth to "Kum-ba-ya". Which, unless they are degenreate gamblers who took the over for the horse surviving, seems like an overreaction.
"The news came as a huge relief to those who had stood vigil outside the hospital and to Barbaro's fan base, which had grown exponentially in number since the jockey's dominant victory at the Kentucky Derby on May 6."
Oops. I made a typo. The vigil wasn't held for a jockey. Barbaro is the horse.
I can understand the horse's owner and those who take care of him being deeply concerned. But that's not the image I get from "vigil." I picture a few dozen people holding candles and swaying back and forth to "Kum-ba-ya". Which, unless they are degenreate gamblers who took the over for the horse surviving, seems like an overreaction.
May 21, 2006
Starship Troopers
One of my best friends is moving to Kansas in several weeks. I knew he was moving, but I didn't know until last night that he would be traveling a lot in the meantime and might not see each other again until moving day, which he graciously offered me to spend some quality time with him by helping him move (thanks, bud).
I was feeling depressed when I got home and didn't want to go to bed sad. I cycled through the cable channels a few times before seeing that Starship Troopers was on, and decided to watch it for a while.
(See what you drove me to, Sean?)
Some critics liked the movie, but many of them lambasted Starship Troopers as a horrible film. I can see where the critics are coming from. The acting is wooden, the characters one-dimensional, the plot uninventive, and the special events aren't even that well done.
I found though that the movie is more odd than bad. The movie takes place in the future, where people are blissfully unaware that they live in an authoritarian society. A group of presumably high-school students are graduating and deciding which branch of the military to join (although the positions are described using the language of civic responsibility, like calling a soldier a "citizen").
There is a race of alien bugs in a galaxy that the government says has the power to go from planet to planet and hurl asteroids at Earth. When an asteroid hits Buenos Aeries, the planet, whipped into a fury with the help of the media, mobilizes for war against the bugs.
What's odd is that all of the obvious flaws in the movie--the stereotypical characters, hackneyed dialogue and relationships, unsophisticated plot--are deliberate. Even the makeup on the actors seems deliberately over-applied.
But the movie almost never winks at the viewer to say "we're poking fun at something else" or gives much of a hint as to the purpose of using this style. The only easily noticeable nudge to the audience is the periodic news telecasts, done in the style of 1950s American or Soviet propaganda commercials.
I could only watch half of the movie, so I may have missed the point, but I came away thinking that the movie was a propaganda movie about propaganda. It used all the simple tricks and trades employed by propaganda makers of years ago to make fun of the type of society that could create such propaganda.
I was feeling depressed when I got home and didn't want to go to bed sad. I cycled through the cable channels a few times before seeing that Starship Troopers was on, and decided to watch it for a while.
(See what you drove me to, Sean?)
Some critics liked the movie, but many of them lambasted Starship Troopers as a horrible film. I can see where the critics are coming from. The acting is wooden, the characters one-dimensional, the plot uninventive, and the special events aren't even that well done.
I found though that the movie is more odd than bad. The movie takes place in the future, where people are blissfully unaware that they live in an authoritarian society. A group of presumably high-school students are graduating and deciding which branch of the military to join (although the positions are described using the language of civic responsibility, like calling a soldier a "citizen").
There is a race of alien bugs in a galaxy that the government says has the power to go from planet to planet and hurl asteroids at Earth. When an asteroid hits Buenos Aeries, the planet, whipped into a fury with the help of the media, mobilizes for war against the bugs.
What's odd is that all of the obvious flaws in the movie--the stereotypical characters, hackneyed dialogue and relationships, unsophisticated plot--are deliberate. Even the makeup on the actors seems deliberately over-applied.
But the movie almost never winks at the viewer to say "we're poking fun at something else" or gives much of a hint as to the purpose of using this style. The only easily noticeable nudge to the audience is the periodic news telecasts, done in the style of 1950s American or Soviet propaganda commercials.
I could only watch half of the movie, so I may have missed the point, but I came away thinking that the movie was a propaganda movie about propaganda. It used all the simple tricks and trades employed by propaganda makers of years ago to make fun of the type of society that could create such propaganda.
It's akin to someone parodying poor writing by copying the bad writing instead of writing poorly in a clever way.
I still don't think it is a good movie, because there has to be some distance between what you create and what you are parodying, or you're no longer parodying the subject. You're emulating it. But there is a sort of sophistication behind the movie that makes it more interesting than it appears at first glance.
I can't recommend that people watch it because I gave up on the movie midday through. It's difficult to watch, and I didn't have the sense that the director was moving towards a larger point that would justify the style he chose in making the movie. If I'm wrong, let me know and I'll rent it and finish watching.
May 19, 2006
France Photos
I broke down and bought a Flickr Pro account a few days ago, so I'll be putting up more photos. Family and anyone else who's interested: here are the photos of when Tina and I went to France. I might add some comments to them in a few days, but the France photos don't particularly lend themselves to comedy.
Update: Actually, I will add comments in a day or two. I'll view it as a comedy challenge: making the French funny. All I need now is some fish, a gun, and a barrel.
Update: Actually, I will add comments in a day or two. I'll view it as a comedy challenge: making the French funny. All I need now is some fish, a gun, and a barrel.
May 18, 2006
Pancake City Contest
The 2006 J-Wal Mix CD Extravaganza (Pt. 1) has just been released, and you can win a free copy.
In conjuction with Pancake City's music label, the Sounds of Syrup, we are giving away one (1) free, autographed copy of the latest release from J-Wal to anyone living in the continental United States. Except Idaho. Sorry, I just don't trust you guys.
The first person who leaves a comment in this post will win the CD. Good luck. (Offer not valid for anyone who has received a pre-release copy).
In conjuction with Pancake City's music label, the Sounds of Syrup, we are giving away one (1) free, autographed copy of the latest release from J-Wal to anyone living in the continental United States. Except Idaho. Sorry, I just don't trust you guys.
The first person who leaves a comment in this post will win the CD. Good luck. (Offer not valid for anyone who has received a pre-release copy).
May 17, 2006
Full Metal Alchemist
Does anyone watch this show? It's a cartoon drama that airs weekly on The Cartoon Network at night. I watched a few epsidoes, and so far, I'm very impressed. The storytelling and writing is better than most of what is on TV, animated or otherwise. I'm thinking of subscribing to NetFlix just to watch the episodes.
You Know, I Do Work During the Day
Okay, part of the day. But if you think I'm going to wake up before 10:00 A.M. just to write a blog entry, you're crazier than my employer who expects me to be at work by 10:00 A.M. And my employer is the Federation Moon Patrol, president: Capt. Crazy Pants. EASTERN STANDARD TIME DOESN'T EXIST IN SPACE! AND STOP PUTTING YOUR MOON PANTS ON YOUR HEAD.
I got a postcard today for "The Largest and Most Exciting Stamp Show in the World." Raise the roof, United States Postal Service. On the postcard are pictures of two stamps: "Tallest Geyser" with a gushing geyser, and "Most Active Volcano". an exploding volcano. Okay, okay, we get it! Why don't you add an image of a train going through a tunnel while you're at it? Pervs.
Show highlights on the back:
* See the world's most valuable stamps and watch as 80 new postage stamps are issued! You could have had me at 20 new postage stamps. But thanks for the gravy.
* Meet Ranger Rick, Postman Pat. Mr. ZIP, and other SURPRISE guests. (Who? Who? Who? Let me guess: Lenny Letter and Alan Thicke.)
This is the first mail I've gotten from the postal service in months. Which is weird, because it's free for them. Well, free like how printing paper from the office supply closet is free. But free enough. If I could send free mail, I'd send a letter every day. I wouldn't even address the letter. I'd just send it to everyone. It'll get to the right person eventually. Everyone else can throw it away.
I'd send anonymous letters to complete strangers, just to confuse them.
"Thanks for the tea bag! As promised, here it is. -- Larry."
"Dogs love you. Except dogs named Ronaldo. Grrrr."
"WHY DID YOU OPEN ME!!! I was having the most wonderful dream."
Well, it's 4:30 p.m. Time for my first nap.
I got a postcard today for "The Largest and Most Exciting Stamp Show in the World." Raise the roof, United States Postal Service. On the postcard are pictures of two stamps: "Tallest Geyser" with a gushing geyser, and "Most Active Volcano". an exploding volcano. Okay, okay, we get it! Why don't you add an image of a train going through a tunnel while you're at it? Pervs.
Show highlights on the back:
* See the world's most valuable stamps and watch as 80 new postage stamps are issued! You could have had me at 20 new postage stamps. But thanks for the gravy.
* Meet Ranger Rick, Postman Pat. Mr. ZIP, and other SURPRISE guests. (Who? Who? Who? Let me guess: Lenny Letter and Alan Thicke.)
This is the first mail I've gotten from the postal service in months. Which is weird, because it's free for them. Well, free like how printing paper from the office supply closet is free. But free enough. If I could send free mail, I'd send a letter every day. I wouldn't even address the letter. I'd just send it to everyone. It'll get to the right person eventually. Everyone else can throw it away.
I'd send anonymous letters to complete strangers, just to confuse them.
"Thanks for the tea bag! As promised, here it is. -- Larry."
"Dogs love you. Except dogs named Ronaldo. Grrrr."
"WHY DID YOU OPEN ME!!! I was having the most wonderful dream."
Well, it's 4:30 p.m. Time for my first nap.
May 16, 2006
Pancake City: American Inventor
Here are some of the inventions I've been working on recently:
Hairy Hair Gel--For balding men. Hair gel with clumps of hair in it to help fill out the thin spots.
GayDar 3000--A black market device that will only be sold to virulent homophobes looking to attack gay men and women. The titanium-plated device is a handheld radar screen that uses a flashing pink dot to point out all other owners of GayDar 3000s.
Wireless "I'm Not Crazy" Device--A hands-free headset that looks like a cellphone earpeice so people who like to talk to themselves won't look crazy. Our responsibility to deal with the mental illnesses of our nation's homeless is finally over!
Automatic Bill Pay--I'm not keen about this one, but my friend Bill kept bugging me to invent it.
Hairy Hair Gel--For balding men. Hair gel with clumps of hair in it to help fill out the thin spots.
GayDar 3000--A black market device that will only be sold to virulent homophobes looking to attack gay men and women. The titanium-plated device is a handheld radar screen that uses a flashing pink dot to point out all other owners of GayDar 3000s.
Wireless "I'm Not Crazy" Device--A hands-free headset that looks like a cellphone earpeice so people who like to talk to themselves won't look crazy. Our responsibility to deal with the mental illnesses of our nation's homeless is finally over!
Automatic Bill Pay--I'm not keen about this one, but my friend Bill kept bugging me to invent it.
May 01, 2006
Stephen Colbert's Speech at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner
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