Pickup Lines

When you ask someone, "Do you come here often?" aren't you really asking that person, "Are you a drunkard?" There has to be a better way to introduce yourself. Like, "Hey. A/S/L? Or, "I want to pop you like a zit on a teenage delivery boy." As long as you don't use a cliche, you're bound to do okay. Here are some examples on what not to do:

"My name is [insert name]. Remember it, because you'll be screaming it all night. Oh, crap. I forgot to insert my name."

"i've had my eye on you ever since I saw you from the bushes outside your apartment."

YOU: "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
PERSON: [face and body charred] "SFJXEERARR!"

"I don't have a phone, because I hate technology, and I write manifestos and send them to newspapers, but if I get one, and I lose my number, can I borrow yours?"

"Psst. Cover me. I just farted."

"You're so hot that you melt the elastic in my Underoos. My Superman Underoos."

YOU: "Can I borrow a quarter?"
PERSON: "Sure."
YOU: "Can I borrow another quarter?"
PERSON: "Okay."
YOU: "Can I have another one?"
PERSON: "Why?"
YOU: "Because I'm going to call my Mom and tell her I just met the most beautiful person in the world. But then I remembered pay phones are now 50 cents. And then I thought, "What if she isn't home?" You see, the answering machine is set to pick up at two rings, and..."

YOU: "Can I take your picture?"
PERSON: "Why? So Santa can know exactly what you want for Chirstmas?"
YOU: "Actually, I'm just perverted."