You know...

...with all the whining I've been doing about getting people to volunteer, it would help if I told my DC, MD, and VA peeps what they could do to get involved.

There's a Yahoo group called Virginia Votes where people post upcoming volunteer events, talk strategy, and so on. Even if you're unsure you want to volunteer, go ahead and join and lurk for a few days. It can't hurt, and you'll, um, get a free Slurpee. If anyone tells you otherwise, just tell them who sent you: Tibor Papapippipoopapalooza.

The group has a web page that also serves as a hub for several organizations in the area. Upcoming events are listed on this page. They have listing for debate parties if you're looking to watch it with a crowd.

And let me know if you join the group, even if you're not up for doing something yet. It means a lot to me to hear about people taking a small step towards getting involved.

Congratulations!

You're now part of a Pancake City focus group.

I'm trying to get start a mass email to encourage people to get involved in the campaign these next two weeks. I know it's a long shot, but if it works, it could make a difference.

Please let me what you think.

A Call To Arms

My friends,

What are you waiting for, Bush the III?

I mean, come on. Are you waiting for him to go ballistic and declare a War Against Spelling? Do you need him to invade Kyrgyzstan with the help of 10 troops from Sri Lanka and a pair of coconuts?

Is it not enough that he's pissed on the Constitution? Are you not going to help elect Kerry until Smirky runs out of TP and changes the Bill of Rights to the Bill of Wipes?

Jesus fucking Christ. Do you know how screwed up this country is? This email just got automatically forwarded to John Ashcroft because I wrote Jesus fucking Christ. That's f---ed up.

What the hell are you waiting for?

Don't want to spend half a weekend once every four years to make some phone calls or knock on a few doors?

Don't want to spend $10 and two hours putting up a few yard signs and passing out bumper stickers to cars parked at traffic?

Don't want to spend an hour driving elderly people to the voting booths on election day?

Don’t want to spend half an hour emailing three disinterested friends in swing states and convincing them to vote for Kerry?

Don't want to spend five minutes signing up on the Kerry volunteer site?

We're so close to winning. All of the swing states are separated by a point or two. Virginia, which hasn't voted Democratic in 40 years, is down to a 3-point gap for Kerry.

We need everyone to spend a few hours--just a few hours--working to get Kerry elected.

You don't have to sacrifice your entire weekend. Just half a day, one day. Or an hour here, half an hour there.

I know what you're thinking. "Somebody else will do it." Really? Did somebody else do it in 2000? Do you think that if 100 more people in Florida helped get 1,000 more votes that we would be in this mess?

We can win this. We just need people like you to do a few hours of work. Come on, say it with me: "I'm going to do something. I'm going to do something right now. And I'm going to do something because working for four hours is a lot better than four more years of this."

What can you do? There are dozens of things, some small, some big, all of them important. Here are a few of them:

1) Sign up with the Kerry campaign at http://volunteer.johnkerry.com/ Let them know the reserves are here.

2) Sign up with a grassroots site, like http://actforvictory.org/

3) Visit www.TheNovemberSurprise.com/ideas.html. It has a list of dozens of ways to make a difference.

You're going to be amazed at how good it will feel to volunteer just for a few hours. We all have a lot of energy, but most of it has been going towards being angry and feeling frustrated. It's a whole another world when you put that energy towards doing something good.

Just four hours. It's all it takes. And you can put in your first minute now by forwarding this email to your friends.

Nov 2. is going to be a great day.

Big Changes

I don't know what happened to me, but I got possessed a few days ago. I had an epiphany that Kerry could win Virginia, and ever since then it has been all I could think about.

I went to my first campaign rally today, organized by a grassroots organization. I'll probably go into the details later, but the main point is that all of the anger and frustration I had towards the Bush administration melted away after handing about bumper stickers for a few minutes and driving around Northern Virginia in a parade of Kerry campaign-decorated cars and having strangers wave, honk back, and give you the thumbs up. It felt good. It felt really good. It was like the flip side of feeling angry all this time. The act of doing something, even something small like attend that rally, made me feel so much better and hopeful than I've felt in months.

The "big changes" are that I'm not sure how much time I'm going to have for the usual blog material. I'm working on getting other people to do small but significant things to scare the shit out of the Republican party by taking Virginia from them.

I'll write more about this later, but here's an email I just sent to ACT that touches on this:

Hello,

I'm involved in a grassroots movement to draw in volunteers from MD and DC to VA, and recruit more volunteers in Virginia to place it in the hands of a Democrat for the first time since 1964.

My belief that Kerry have a decent chance of winning Virginia isn't mere wishful thinking. It's based on the latest Zogby poll that has him down by 3%, an underground grassroots effort that has been going on for the past three months underneath the radar of the media, and several characteristics of presidential incumbent elections that favor the challenger in close races.

Wouldn't it be great to strike fear in the hearts of Republicans who thought one of their states they thought was in the bag was now up for grabs? And that the reason was not a formal effort by the Kerry campaign, or a slew of commercials, or a bombardment of media attention, but because enough citizens rose from their couches to stand and say, "This is not their democracy. This is my democracy. And I'm going to help take it back."

Here is where ACT comes in. You know how you list West Virginia, with its 5 electoral votes, and where the last Zogby poll has Kerry behind 6%, as one of the swing states on your web site? Why not add Virginia, with its 13 electoral votes, and where Kerry has risen from 8% down to 3% in the last few months (also from latest Zogby poll)?

Secondly, could you provide a contact where we could coordinate publicity efforts? I registered a domain name,
www.TheNovemberSurprise.com, and am working feverishly to get it up in the next few days. I'm working with other local grassroots organizations, as well as local and national bloggers to push the media perception from "Republican stronghold" to "swing state."

At the very least, we can give the Bush campaign a scare and force them to devote resources into a state area they felt they could ignore. And if we could get the media to pick up on this last minute surprise, a Republican state shifting towards Kerry could play into a "Surging Kerry" story and have a significant impact on media coverage of the race as a whole.

Thank you for reading. I hope you have the time to respond.

Keep Your Hand on Your Gun

Now I know why we haven't heard from N'Sync in a while. They're in hiding.

Several months ago, the NRA released a list of organizations, celebrities, and editorial writers that have supported gun control (or "anti-gun") efforts in some way. N'Sync is targeted, although it is unclear if the NRA is targeting the whole group or just the suspiciously named JC (for Jun Control!)

This is old news and I probably wouldn't have mentioned the list even if it wasn't, except that NRA Blacksite, a response to the NRA's list, was created and it has one of the best uses of a background song I've seen on a web site. "Or a gringo like me..."

Thanks KKK!

Equality got some assistance from an unlikely source. A Ku Klux Klan group has asked for a permit to demonstrate in support of Augusta National Golf Club's right to an all-male membership. Augusta granted the permit, but said only male Klan members could protest.

Okay, I made the last sentence up. But when the KKK thinks you’re doing something kool, it’s time to give what you’re doing a second thought. They’re like a morality shorthand. If you don’t have time to analyze the opinions of both sides, filter each opinion for bias, and determine how their arguments mesh with your own concepts of freedom and personal liberty, just see what the KKK thinks about it.

The KKK could even start a business where groups hire the organization to support their opponents.
“KKK Supports War in Iraq”
“KKK Praises New NBC Lineup”
“KKK Loves McDonalds’ Tasty Chicken Sandwich; Vows Never To Eat at Burger King”

Jibber-Jibber Snap Snap Kiss My Ass

Simon has a difficult job. All of the contestants on American Idol have developed a knee-jerk reaction to him no matter what he says after their performances.

RANDY: “It didn’t do anything for me, dawg.”
CONTESTANT: “Okay.”
PAULA: “I felt like you over sang the song. I’m sorry. But you’re really beautiful.”
CONTESTANT: “Thank you.”
SIMON: “It was—“
CONTESTANT: “WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME THAT I SUCK? I HAVE BEEN SINGING SINCE I WAS A SPERM AND AN EGG! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHO I AM. I MADE IT THIS FAR AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO STOP ME! [snaps fingers several times in the motion of an angry fly] [walks of stage to wildly cheering audience]

If I were Simon, I’d be even meaner to these people, like "That would have been great if you were singing out of your ass," or “If this were American Barnyard Animals, you’d be a winner.”

And you know what else? I’m sad that Frenchie got kicked off the show. Go ahead, make fun of me. Reality TV has affected my life and I’m not embarrassed to say it. I even signed a Save Frenchie petition, in spite of the fact that its wording did not fully capture all of the intricacies of the Frenchie situation. “You kicked off Frenchie because she is big. Your going to get something else big if you don’t bring her back: big trouble. And less big ratings.”