Hey, Feed People

I moved to Wordpress, a different blogging suite, and my RSS feed has changed. The new one is http://www.1001words.com/feed . Visiting www.1001words.com will bring up the new site.

Okay....

I'm going to try to move my blog to a completely different publishing system. See you in a day.

Blog May Be Down

I'm going to fiddle around with the blog a little. It may be down for a day or two.

Keyword Project

For the past several days, I've been going through every post I have written, over 1,350, and adding keywords to each post. I also fixed dozens of links and deleted about 50 extraneous posts.

I am 99% finished. I've been adding the keywords in reverse chronological order, so I'm at the first handful of posts I wrote four years ago. The indexing system was created on the fly so it is inconsistent and not as good as if I had the time to plan it out, but I think it will serve some use.

One of my first posts four years ago was a link to this video, We Drink Ritalin. Not only does the original link work (trust me, this is amazing by itself), but the video is still very funny.

I disabled the RSS feed before I started, so either you will get one new post after I restore the feed, or 1,300.

MY SISTER HAS A BLOG!!!

Ass Prom!

This is so cool. It's really good too. I want to steal her "Fucked-up Comments" idea. M's posts are under "Inge" (I can only reveal so much about her identity).

Happy Birthday Mom!

Mom, I love you. Some of my friends want you to adopt them. Just letting you know in case a certain sister makes fun of your age and you want to trade her in.

Not Posting for Two Weeks Pays Off Again

Blog of the Weekend, I have my eye on you.




Thanks, Blog of the Day. I'm off to make a cake.

Interesting Interrview: Graffiti Research Lab

PRI's "Fair Game with Faith Salie" interviewed the GRI's Evan Roth about its recent technological projects and the conflict between graffiti and advertising. It's a great interview, and I'm not just saying it because he's my sister's boyfriend.

Evan, I want to participate in The Summer of Blood.

See you on July 4th

I'm going on a cruise to Alaska with my Mom and Tina, so I won't be posting until Jul. 4th at the earliest. I'll try to squeeze in a post before I leave about Ronnie the Rat (or as my delusional roommates call him, "Fluffy the Mouse").

I Have an RSS Feed!

And I wouldn't use it for a few days.

First, thanks to Jim M. for the link that made setting up the feed easy.

For the past few days, I've been adding metadata to almost every post I have written. It started on a whim, something I did for a handful of recent posts, and went on from there. My thoughts are often a cluttered mess, and it feels good to be organized in at least one part of my life.

I think the RSS feed is updating every time I add a keyword to a post. I finished 200 so far, and have around 1,000 more to do. If you are reading on a newsreader, you may end up seeing four years of blog posts by the end of the week. I suggest waiting a few days and clicking on the "poop" tag to catch up on the best ones. Or for the very best, "poop monkey rocket". Man, that monkey's handlers were so pissed off when he returned back to Earth. Ahh, the stories.

Happy Birthday, Meghan

It's my roommate Meghan's birthday today!

Headline: News Headlines All Under One Headline

I tagged all of my headline posts .

Trashy Celebs

Two friends of mine, Amy and Lori, have a very funny blog called Trashy Celebs. Where else are you going to find headlines like "Joey Lawrence’s Man Boobs are Blossoming?"

Randon Pancake City Contest

First person to leave a comment for this post and has the ability to read directions wins!

The directions: Leave a random word or phrase--anything goes--as a comment. I'll make a cartoon inspired by your suggestion.

Dear One Person Who Uses the RSS Feed and Can't Even Read This Post Because She Only Has the Broken Link and Is Too Lazy to Type 1001words.com

It's fixed!

RSS link

PCRN2~ Update

Check this post for the radio show link at 7:45 p.m. EST.

Update: Da link. Show stars at 8:00 p.m.

Column: The Mystical, Magical Slurpee Tour

I wrote some columns a few years ago that few of you have seen. They were on the old version of the site before I redesigned it.

(Entire redesign process: [log in to Blogger] “Oooh, new templates!” [click] “Hey, where are my columns?”

***

The weather forecast was wonderfully wrong today. Sixty-five degrees, sunny the whole day, and the supposed afternoon showers didn't show until nightfall. I rode my bike for an hour and a half on the local trails.

I love bike trails, but they invariably have boring names like "W&O Trail" or--when the park department wants to turn on the Shake n’ Bake--"C&O Trail."

Where is "The Trail Less Traveled"? "A Trail of Two Cities"? "T-Rail Owens?" I'm already vibrating my lips like a motorcycle when I turn corners. Silliness isn’t a problem. Reality is.

Then again, reality occasionally has its moments. After my bike ride, I was parched and went in 7-11 to buy a Slurpee. My experience, without exaggeration:

ME: "Hey, can I try the flavors? I don't know which one I want."
7-11 EMPLOYEE: "Breakfast?"

(Perhaps this is a good point to mention that I have a severe stutter and many of my conversations start with mutual confusion.)

ME: "Take two. Can I try the Slurpee flavors?"
7-11 EMPLOYEE: "Try the flavors?"
ME: "Yes!"
7-11 EMPLOYEE: [thought hard for a moment] "No?"

In my younger years, I would have left, disappointed. Not this time. One, for all I knew, he may have thought we were still talking about breakfast. Two, he made a fatal mistake. He left doubt in his voice, like a person who is asked, “Do you want me to not not punch you?” Time to repeat what I want until he caves in.

ME: "I want to try the flavors before I buy a Slurpee."
7-11 EMPLOYEE: “Um...”
ME: "I'd like to try the flavors before I buy a Slurpee."
7-11 EMPLOYEE: “Try...flavors?”

(His manager notices the commotion and comes over.)

MANAGER: "What's going on?"
7-11 EMPLOYEE (about to cry): "He wants to try the flavors."

The manager, used to serving food critics, got me a Dixie cup. The situation was over. I poured a bit of the sour strawberry. To victory. I lifted the cup up to my lips, feeling strangely uneasy, and turned around.

They were both staring at me. These two were smarter than I thought. My original plan was to sample Dixie-cup sized Slurpee flavors until I was bloated, and then dash out of the store on my bike while those suckers foot the bill. But that was a trick no pony was going to pull on them.

At first, I tried to ignore them. I sipped the sour strawberry. Tangy and very promising. I advanced towards the root beer.

MANAGER: "You don't want that. It's frozen."

It didn't look more frozen than the other frozen Slurpees, but who was I to argue? I’m not an ice technician. I grabbed the handle for cherry.

MANAGER (and let me remind you that this is not made up): "That's cherry. Why do you want to try cherry?"

I turned around and gave my biggest fake smile. They both left. But her words made me think.

Perhaps his question was not accusatory but philosophical. Why did I want to try cherry? Why did I want to try any of the flavors? Why did I want to go bike riding, or eat Cheerios for breakfast, or scratch myself in CVS but refrain from doing so because of those damn 1984-style mirrors?

It tasted good. Is that enough of an answer? I feel almost sacrilegious saying this, but...could there be more to life than Slurpees?

I thought about this until I saw Blue Raspberry.

Changing Web Hosting Services

FYI: I'm changing my web hosting service, so the site may be down for a few days. Which means you probably won't be able to read this message.

On Hiatus for a Week

I won't be posting much, if at all, for the next week. I'm moving this Sat. (don't know where yet--gg relaxed move) and don't see myself having the time.

Pancake City Contest

The 2006 J-Wal Mix CD Extravaganza (Pt. 1) has just been released, and you can win a free copy.

In conjuction with Pancake City's music label, the Sounds of Syrup, we are giving away one (1) free, autographed copy of the latest release from J-Wal to anyone living in the continental United States. Except Idaho. Sorry, I just don't trust you guys.

The first person who leaves a comment in this post will win the CD. Good luck. (Offer not valid for anyone who has received a pre-release copy).