Here's a quick lesson that will help you breath life into the dead chipmunk that you call your writing.
When writing, avoid using clichés. For one, it's a French word, and everything French is bad. Two, robots use clichés, and no one can compete with robots.
For example:
Bad: Avoid clichés like the plaque.
Good: Avoid clichés like a President avoids hookers with multisyllabic names.
Bad: I have a love-hate relationship with Dr. Laura. I love to hate her.
Good: I have a hate-love-love-hate-relationship with birthmarks in the shape of Warren Beatty's right nipple. I hate to love to love to hate them.
When you win the Pulitzer, please invite me to the banquet. I hear they have half-price drinks.
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