Cybersquatter of the Day

Igotmail.com

“Igotmail.com!

J-Dog here. You got mail and I got money! I’m a systems programmer at AOL in Virginia, trying to make it up the corporate ladder. It’s the big man’s birthday next week (Ted Leonsis) and I want to get him this domain name as a gift.

Here’s how I picture it. He starts AOL. The system goes, “You got mail.” He responds, “I got mail!” Then he reads my email: “And I got you a web site, big man!” Boom! I get a promotion and a raise more bloated than the betaware I’m programming.

How much are you selling the name for? Can you get it to me in a week or less? Respond quickly please!

Thanks,
Jason”

Note 1: I sent the above email to Igotmail.net because they openly beg for a buyer, while Igotmail.com is registered but unhosted.

Unclaimed Domain Name Gem of the Day
Igotmale.com

As a gay man, I can attest to the lack of quality gay porn on the web. The same person is in all the shots: a hairless, vapid-looking, blonde-hair, blue-eyed lemur who looks like he was once a backup singer for Scorpions. I call him Chuck. Chuck is either lying on a satin pillow with his jeans unzipped or making love to Chuck II (Chuck with a dimple).

Occasionally, Chuck III will walk in on Chuck I and Chuck II, and, after getting over the shock (approximately seven seconds), join in the action. A few minutes, the camera jiggles, and—in what may be an impromptu move—the camera operator, Chuck IV (Chuck I in a brown wig and two dimples) enters the frame.

There just aren’t enough gay people to make good quality porn. We even have to recruit from the straight community. You may have heard of “gay for pay”, straight actors performing in homoerotic videos because it pays better than straight porn.

While I am heartened that some straight people can set their homophobia aside long enough to have their dick sucked for $500, I still hope that pornographers overcome their resistance to investing in the gay market and bring the same sense of competition and professionalism they have brought to the straight porn community. Because what really matters is the porn. And equality in the military, workplace, professional and college sports, marriage, and the media.

Note 2: If the vague images of homosexual sex made you uncomfortable, you can erase those disturbing images be rereading that passage “straightified” (I replaced the Chucks with names of beautiful women).

“As a gay man, I can attest to the lack of quality gay porn on the web. The same person is in all the shots: a hairless, vapid-looking, blonde-hair, blue-eyed lemur who looks like he was once a backup singer for Scorpions. I call him Chuck. Chuck is either lying on a satin pillow with his jeans unzipped or making love to Tia Carrere (Chuck with a dimple).

Occasionally, Sara Michelle Geller will walk in on Chuck I and Tia Carrere, and, after getting over the shock (approximately seven seconds), join in the action. A few minutes, the camera jiggles, and—in what may be an impromptu move—the camera operator, your Grandmother (Chuck I in a brown wig and two breasts down to her knees) enters the frame.”

Have a good night sleep.