So...

How many brown people have to die before it leads the local nightly news?

I know it's no "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop?", but it's important to me nonetheless.

The night the tsunami shattered coastal regions in Asia, the local news in D.C. did a story at 11:05. The estimated dead were at least 10,000. The top story: Some travelers were stranded at airports because, and this is really bizarre, lots of people travel around Christmas and snow continues to fall towards the ground, in spite of the fact that people are traveling for the Christmas holiday that very day.

Snow is a jerk. But will snow be a jerk in Washington D.C.? To Ronnie in the Weather Tower, a man who not only catalogued the daily weather stats but also pulled off the amazing stunt of commending viewers for bravely soldering on during the horribly frigid weather while almost-simultaneously expressing regret for the lack of snow this Christmas, a substance that, to the best of my knowledge, requires cold to form.

Then came the brown people. And, I kid you not, after describing the disaster and giving the death count, they, through an act of TV news wizardy that will put to shame any critic who ever said the news never sticks with a story, somehow, found a few stranded travelers in Sri Lanka and started talking about them.

The next night, same station, the disaster lead the newscast. At that point, the death toll had risen to at least 28,000. While that doesn't answer the original question, it provides a valuable clue.

Based on these two nights, the number of brown people that have to die to lead the local nightly news is between 10,000 and 28,000. Of course, this is assuming there isn't an obviously bigger story, like the President being assassinated or a Twinkie factory shutting down.

Personally, my gut feeling tells me the magic numbers are 18,000 brown people, 10,000 white people, and 3 Americans. Unless the Americans are in another country, where in that case it would take at least 5 killed by violent death, 12 by natural disaster, with an exception if there's a movie about the disaster coming out next week, like "Death Not Fun(nel)" or "I-cy Danger, I See France," and the media conglomerate that owns the local television station also owns the movie studio making the movie. Then the number is anyone's guess.