"Scalpel! Oops. Um...second scalpel!"

A Yahoo story states that surgery tools are left in 1,500 people a year.

A quote: “In two cases, 11-inch retractors--metal strips used to hold back tissue--were forgotten inside patients. In another operation, four sponges were left inside someone.”

Let’s not mince words. Four sponges weren’t left inside someone. Four sponges were stuffed inside someone. Getting four pieces of dead sea animal to gracefully arrange themselves in a chest cavity is like trying to squeeze four balls in a nutsack. It can be done, but you’re going to have to do a lot of stretching and jiggling. Furthermore, any surgeon forgetful enough to lose four sponges would have lost his car keys, his backup keys, his pants, and his ability to dial a phone and get help. He would have never made it to work.

I’m not saying the surgeon was malicious. My theory is that the surgeon operated on a plump patient the day before Thanksgiving and got ahead of himself. It’s easy to see how he could get confused. The patient is on her back, she has the equivalent of a gravy bag hooked in her arm, and strange people you don’t spend a lot of time with are clamoring for you to finish. We should be grateful that blood doesn’t smell like cranberry sauce and her wishbone is still intact.