August 07, 2003

Schwarzenegger for Governor?

The campaign speech:
"It's time for a recall—A Total Recall. Ha ha ha ha."

The stressful week before the election:
"Who told you could eat my cookies?"

The day after the election:
"You people are soft! You lack discipline! Well, I've got news for you. YOU ARE MINE NOW! YOU BELONG TO ME!"

Interviewing people for government posts:
AIDE: [whispering] "Sir, perhaps we should base our hires on qualifications rather than--"
SCHWARZENEGGER: "Shut up! We will do this my way. [to applicant] Who is your daddy, and what does he do?"

Two years in the term:
REPORTER: "Mr. Governor, about your recent health problems--"
SCHWARZENEGGER: "It's not a tu-mor!"

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