My Mom, Stealing Laughs

My mom was born to be a professional heckler. A sample of her comments Wednesday night at the comedy club:

COMEDIAN: "I haven't been doing well lately. My girlfriend broke up with me."
MOM: [to us] "Lucky her."

(in the middle of the act of one lame comic)
MOM: [loudly] "Let's go!"

During the last comic, Michele kicked me to get my attention. I turned and saw my Mom, pretending to be asleep. The comic saw her and had a sad look on his face.

After the show, Mom found a youth group having a late pizza dinner in the hotel. She and Michele barged into the room and zeroed in on the pizza. One of the adults asked her if she was part of the group. I forgot what answer she said she gave him, but whatever it was, it had absolutely no effect on them each walking out with a slice of pizza. The two of them then badgered Evan (Michele's boyfriend) to steal them some more pizza.

M & M then prodded me for the next five minutes to show my blood allegiance by stealing a slice. Keep in mind, neither of them were the least bit hungry at this point. They just wanted to make sure I was still committed to the clan. Now, I have no moral problems redistributing free food. It makes me feel like Jesus. But I was tired from pre-performance stress and I have a knee-jerk reaction to peer pressure, so I picked this as my one monthly fight I get to win.

Eventually, their chicanery-induced adrenaline highs subsided and they let up their attack. We ended the night sitting on the curb outside eating slices of a decent vegetarian pie while Mom gave us tips on how to eat for free if we ever become homeless.

Ah. Family.