I'm going to sign up for a few online dating sites soon. I've been thinking of lines that will make me sound both sexy and mysterious, like Barry White sung in Cantonese. What I have so far:
Things You Should Know About Me
I like mittens. They’re gloves without problems.
GET OFF MY HEAD, PANTS!
Drinking/Smoking Habits
The only thing I smoke is the pipe—The Pipe of Not Smoking. And I stuff it with the Tobacco of Occasionally Drinking.
Celebrity I Resemble Most
Hitler. (Note: My member name is Hip Hop Hitler and my photo is Hitler with a Rastafarian cap.)
Occupation
Breakdancing Fool that will take you to school*
* Sir Mix-a-Lot Elementary. Principal: Grand Master Flash
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