Random Assortment

* I'm so glad Inside Edition is coming back. They were kicking culture in the kneecaps back when it was still standing and the other news magazine shows were gossiping about it in the corner.

* I saw an ad for Miss Congeniality 2. It quoted a reviewer who wrote, "Better than the first one!" Excuse me? How can anything be better than perfection?

* There are diploma mills that churn out thousands of phony degrees. There are puppy mills that churn out thousands of popular-breed puppies. They should form a partnership. The diploma mills can provide paper for the puppies' potty training, and the puppy mills can provide guard dogs to protect from investigate news programs like...well, there are none anymore. So screw that.

* My sister Tina has been lobbying for a "birthday week", where I would post something about her on Pancake City every day for a week.

ME: "What would I write about for a week?"
TINA: "All the good things about me."
ME: "Do you want a birthday week or a birthday minute?"

Do you know what I like about my family? We take turns providing the set-up.

* My other sister, Michele, finally got rid of the grey cat. It didn't even make it to Naming Day. The grey cat violated the "Three Strikes and You're Out" rule, except replace "three" with "10" and "strikes" with "peeing on her and Evan's stuff".

* My Mom is turning 60 in September. I think she is worrying about being put in a nursing home. We were watching the news when a story on Terry Schiavo came on TV. They were talking about pulling out her feeding tube and Mom said, "No! They can't do that! She spent her entire life raising those three, ungrateful kids!"