The Pancake City Guide to the Bible: Part 1 of ???

On a whim, I borrowed the King James version of the Bible from a library. I've been meaning to read it for years, both because of its lyrical language and the creative fuel I suspect it will provide.

I'm reading it non-lineraly and am only a few dozen pages into the book. So this may be the first and last entry related to the Bible. Or it could be one in a very long series. Who knows? Besides God. And Revelation 3:12 ("And there will be a blog called Pancake City, and it will be mildly amusing and infrequently updated...")

If that joke isn't sacrilegious, what is?

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Leviticus, Chapters 1-5

Summary: You sin, you lose a goat.

Expanded: And don't even try that "I don't have a goat" crap. Don't have a goat, bring a ram, No ram, get a lamb. No lamb, two turtledoves. No turtledoves, two pigeons. No pigeons, then the tenth part of an ephah of fine flour. We could go on, but you get the picture. Don't try to pull one on us. We thought of everything. And if the animal is old or unhealthy, don't bother. This isn't the Monty Python Parrot sketch.

And that which is left of the meat offering shall be Aaron's and his sons, the priests, so we would appreciate it if you could bring your sacrifices before dinner.