Down the Drain in the Shower

Every weight-loss advertisement has a few, rail-thin people gushing about the amazing results of the product. "I lost 14 pounds in one week!" Then, on the crawl in small print: "Results may vary."

You think they can go out on a limb and say, "Results will vary"? Or, "If our product actually has this effect on you, please see medical attention. You are about to die." I want to see the weight-loss ad that has a woman saying, "I lost 14 pounds in one week!" and a team of EMTs storming in and strapping her to a gurney. "Dear God! Get this woman into the ICU. Move move move!"