5. Be disrespectful or politically incorrect in the workplace. Political correctness is a hot topic in today's modern workplace, and most companies have zero tolerance for offensive remarks and actions. If you've got a humdinger of a joke but it's just a bit offensive, it's best to leave it home and opt for a simple knock-knock.
EMPLOYEE1: Knock-knock!
EMPLOYEE2: Who's there?
EMPLOYEE1: Banana!
EMPLOYEE2: Banana who?
EMPLOYEE1: Banana banana fo fana. Fe fi fo fana. Banana nana be bo banana!
EMPLOYEE2: Aren't Jewish people supposed to be funny?
JEWISH EMPLOYEE1: I can't believe you said that. Aren't you afraid that if you do something bad, Vishnu will give you twenty middle fingers?
INDIAN EMPLOYEE2: For one, Vishnu has four arms, not twenty. Of course, no one here expects you to know anything about religion.
ATHEIST JEWISH EMPLOYEE1: What's that supposed to mean?
INDIAN RELIGIOUS PERSON WHO PROFESSES TOLERANCE BUT SECRETLY HATES ATHEISTS EMPLOYEE2: Nothing.
IRRITATED ATHEIST JEWISH EMPLOYEE: You have something to say? Say it. I have something to say about you too. Or should I say, you two.
INDIAN RELIGIOUS PERSON WHO PROFESSES TOLERANCE BUT SECRETLY HATES ATHEISTS, ESPECIALLY THIS ONE, WHO KNOWS ABOUT HIS AFFAIR WITH THE BOSS'S HUSBAND EMPLOYEE: You carrot-munching bastard. You wouldn't.
IRRITATED ATHEIST JEWISH VEGETARIAN EMPLOYEE: It would be a terrible way for her to find out her husband is gay.
GAY INDIAN RELIGIOUS PERSON WHO PROFESSES TOLERANCE BUT SECRETLY HATES ATHEISTS, ESPECIALLY THIS ONE, WHO KNOWS ABOUT HIS AFFAIR WITH THE BOSS'S HUSBAND EMPLOYEE: ...Your slip is showing.
IRRITATED ATHEIST JEWISH VEGETARIAN EMPLOYEE WHO IS EXTRA IRRITATED BECAUSE HIS COWORKER JUST FOUND OUT HE'S A CROSSDRESSER: My...? Oh, god. Truce?
INDIAN EMPLOYEE2: That would be acceptable.
JEWISH EMPLOYEE1: Sorry about the comments I made about your religion.
EMPLOYEE2: And I apologize about the stereotype I made about Jewish people.
EMPLOYEE1: Okay. Well, see you at lunch.
EMPLOYEE WHO WILL AVOID EMPLOYEE AT LUNCH FOR THE NEXT WEEK: Of course. See you there.
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