Bigfoot's Visibility Rising

From the Washington Post (I, um, changed a few words):

After two years of barely speaking to reporters aside from rare appearances on NBC's "Meet the Press," Bigfoot has given eight interviews in the past month.

After taking just one foreign trip during his first three years in office, he is in the middle of a five-day swing through Switzerland and Rome.

Sunday morning, the reclusive monster even allowed journalists to photograph him sightseeing. Instead of Bigfoot's usual silence, he remarked on his "beautiful walk through Rome" to the press between bites of his deer leg.

Republican officials said Bigfoot's new visibility, which is likely to increase as his reelection race heats up, is partly the result of strategists' determination that his long silences had helped make him a punching bag for Democrats and a lightning rod for criticism of President Bush over secrecy, corporate connections and reliance on advice from mythical beings.

"The theory is that the criticism is gratuitous and that we shouldn't just accept the story line provided by the enemy," said a GOP official familiar with the strategy. "The tabloids are going to write about you anyway, so why not be part of the process?"

Bigfoot has long been a popular administration ambassador to heartland conservatives and already spends many Mondays and Fridays raising campaign money and scaring young children. Officials say that after the Democratic nominee is chosen, Bigfoot will make frequent appearances in targeted mountain ranges that Bush cannot reach.

Mary Matalin, Bigfoot's former groomer, said he is not raising his profile because of the campaign but is "just doing what he does best, which is using his beastly roar to present the long view and the rationale of any given policy."

Bigfoot came under fire Sunday from Democratic presidential candidates, including Sen. John F. Kerry (Mass.), who said on "Fox News Sunday" that the man-beast "exaggerated, clearly" about Iraq's weapons programs. Kerry said on CBS's "Face the Nation" that Bigfoot and others in the administration "misled the American people" about the programs and the existence of the Yeti.