Last weekend, I went to the Renaissance Fair. Had a great time (photos of people you've never met here!). The fried cheese--delicious. Best food item at the Renaissance Fair not on a stick, and I dare say it would provide a tough challenge against the whole array of stick-based foods, including Cheesecake on a Stick, Grapes on a Stick, and Stick on a Stick.
The only down part is that, with all of the visual and aural stimuli created by the performers, craft shops, and uniquely-dressed visitors, I became momentarily distracted and lost my backpack.
Version 2: I was drunk and lost it between the time we left the pub and went to throw knives. (In a layout that doesn’t make sense now that I am sober, the knife-throwing game is right around the corner of the pub.)
The lost-and-found didn’t have it, so I called the office on Monday to see if someone had returned it. Here is the exact conversation I had:
ME: “Hi. I lost my backpack last Saturday, and I was wondering if someone turned it in.”
LOST N FOUND: “We did find a few backpacks on Saturday. What color is it?”
ME: “It’s an olive-green backpack.”
LOST N FOUND: “One moment.” [puts me on hold, comes back a minute later.] “What’s in the backpack?”
(It’s obvious to me he wants to make sure it’s mine, lest I am a con artist trying to pull of the ol’ “Backpack Switcheroo”)
ME: “There’s a sunglasses case, a camera pouch, and ½ a bottle of Arizona Ice Tea. But it’s lemonade inside, not ice tea.”
LOST N FOUND: “Hmmm, mmmm. And who made the backpack?”
Excuse me? How many olive-green backpacks with a sunglasses case, camera pouch, and ½ bottle of lemonade-filled
ME: “Jeez, I don’t know. Jansport?”
LOST N FOUND: “That’s right. It’s yours.”
What would have happened if I had given the wrong brand name? What if I slipped and said “Trail and Country” or the “Just Give Me My Mother-Fucking Backpack Already” company? I am probably better off not knowing.
Anyway, they agreed to mail it back to me. I got it back today.
You know what’s still in the backpack? THE LEMONADE. They didn’t even empty the bottle. They mailed me back my ½ bottle of week-old lemonade. And paid the postage for it too.
3 comments:
I don't blame them for leaving the contents intact. People are crazy and I have no doubt that there is someone out there who would have thrown a royal hissy fit had their half-empty bottle not been included.
Personally, I have met each and every one of those people.
Who are you?
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