The most popular bumper sticker today is a ribbon, usually yellow or red, white, and blue. with the inscription "Support our troops." Occasionally, someone will mix things up with a "Support President Bush and our troops" sticker, but the strain this Venn diagram puts on the minds of patriotic souls everywhere has limited its popularity.
I admire these people for taking a stand against the strong anti-troop movement that has arisen in our country and threatens to tear apart the fabric of our nation. Our troops need to know that we support them, and if putting a bumper sticker expressing this sentiment on our cars isn't the best way to let them know, then we might as well rename
I fear, though, that having become ubiquitous the message will get stale and lose its effectiveness in supporting our troops and combating dissent. So I made up several alternative messages that will soon be appearing in The Pancake City Troop Power Pack (9 stickers, $69.95. Five percent of profits will go towards a fundraiser to buy the troops a $14 million MX-140 missile. If we don't raise enough money, I will instead send the troops a dozen Hostess cupcakes, laid out in the box in the shape of a giant thumbs up.)
Alternative Slogans
- Support our troops…our drama troupes!
- Do you support our troops…or are you a child molester?
- Something NAMBLA and the NRA can agree on: supporting our troops!
- It's not enough to support our troops. Support supporting our troops!
- Support our girdles.
- Vote Yes on Prop. 182. What's Prop. 182? Supporting our troops!
- Say no to the sewer people who are recruiting a zombie army to attack the surface dwellers that have lorded over them for so long. Say yes to supporting troops!
- Do troops eat babies? No! So why don't you support our troops?
- Stützen unsere Truppen!
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