NEW NEW NEW!

New is better! New is always better! Shiny! Pretty! Four blades! Now with odor-destroying racing stripe! IT'S NOW 33% MORE ABSORBENT, MOTHERFUCKERS! BETTER TO SOAK UP YOUR DROOL AS YOU MARVEL AT ITS NIGH-MAGICAL ABSORBENCY!

Blogger released a series of new templates that have a lot of new features that I don't know what they do because I saw "New Templates" and I switched with the urgency of a man aware that he can suppress his rationality for only so long. I'll be playing with things for a few days. I wish I had one of those 1997 "Site Under Construction" signs with the silhouette of a man digging and giant apostrophes hovering above his head because, evidentially, stick figures sweat apostrophes half the size of their heads. Wouldn't that image make a great T-shirt?

Hey, check this out. I can make a block quote.

Blah, blah, blah. I'm Mr. Block Quote. I'm the diva of paragrpahs. Get away from me. I need two feet of space at all times.