Carol Moseley Braun
Carol-Moseley-Braun-Paper-Towel-Too-Many-Names-Buh-Bye.
Howard Dean
Howard the Duck. Next.
John Edwards
Can’t win South unless he renames himself John John.
John Kerry
Name can be rearranged to spell HORNY JERK. As much as I liked the last horny jerk...
Dick Gephardt
Only if his VP is Pussy Galore.
Bob Graham
Name sounds way too much like a door-to-door Bible salesman.
Dennis Kucinich
In school, kids called him “Cuckoo Bitch”. Let’s listen to the children.
Joe Lieberman
Look, buddy. When you’re President, stuff happens on Saturday besides the Morning Cartoon Fun Hour on the WB. If I wanted someone who skips work regularly, I’d cave in to the Hell Lord Morris and vote for a Double Dubya.
Al Sharpton
Howard Dean called him a "second-tier candidate" and he took it as a compliment.
Voltron
Okay, he hasn’t announced his candidacy yet, but once he does, there are going to be a lot more elephant wastebaskets in the world.
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