Posts are Coming!

I have 3 or 4 half-written posts that I haven't had time to finish yet. I know often many of my posts are indistinguishable from a drunk monkey typing at a stenographer's keyboard and drinking bourbon out of a Mr. Bobo-brand metal flask. That is obviously a false impression to have. The monkey can type faster, and BANANA ME NEED GO GO.

But I'll finish one of them when I get home today. I was digging through my old files, trying to find something I wrote a few years ago that I could post. It took me twenty minutes, about how much time I would need to write up one of the ideas that I have. The result? A whole paragraph, which I probably already posted:

Anti-depressants would be a lot more effective if they gave you superpowers. Like heat vision. People who can shoot lasers out of their eyes don'’t feel worthless. Superman has the weight of the world on his shoulders, but you never see him taking Prozac. Of course, his therapist accuses him of flying away from his problems.

THERAPIST: "You can't blow away your problems, Superman. Eventually, they'll thaw, and still be there, the same as when you froze them."
SUPERMAN: "So you're saying I should skip the freeze breath and just blast everything with my heat vision?"
THERAPIST: "No. I'm saying--"
SUPERMAN: "Throw them into outer space?"
THERAPIST: "Hold on. Just listen on me."
SUPERMAN: "I'm listening."
THERAPIST: "What I'm saying--"
SUPERMAN: "Hold on. I'm listening to the sex therapist two floors below us."