QotD

"If Bin Laden shows up in October, somebody better check him for freezer burn." (source, first comment)

You know, if Bush actually figured out a way to deep freeze someone--and I mean Bush himself, not the administration--if President Bush figured out how to freeze Osama and defrost him so he looks recently alive, I'd vote for him, because that's pretty damn cool.

Maybe the instant popularity Osama bin Laden's capture would bring is why many editorialists are chatting about a soon-to-be-released movie that may change the election: "Weekend at Bernie's 4--All the President's Men".

Synopsis: To secure his re-election, President Bush attempts to reanimate Osama bin Laden, captured and frozen in June 2002. But after announcing the capture to the public, the President hits "cook" instead of "defrost", and Osama's flaming beard becomes only the first of his problems.

Sample scene: Congressional hearing on terrorism.
BUSH: "See? It's him. He's being very stubborn, so don't bother asking questions. If that's all, I'll just..."
JOE BIDEN: "Wait a minute. Osama, why is there duct tape under your arm pit?"
BUSH [falsetto, pulling Osama's mouth with a string]: "Uh...because I like John Kerry?"
Dennis Hastert: "That's him, all right!"

(If you visit the Dennis Hastert link, keep in mind this is the man two degrees from the Presidency in case the President dies in office.)