...the last time the terror alert level was green?
At least 9/11 didn't happen in 1952. The calm color would have been white, and it would have escalated several shades of grey up to a dangerous black.
The blue to red color scheme we use is appropriate. One, it is consistent with the scheme for traffic lights, although at red lights most people don't pee in their pants. Two, Democrats come from blue states, and Democrats are pussies about terrorism. They think the world is calm and Osama bin Laden is prancing around the daisy field. "La la la!" sings Osama. "I hope George W. Bush wins. Then John Kerry will hold a bake sale for my next al Qaeda recruitment drive. Dick Cheney said so. I love Kerry's brownies."
Yes, that is what Democrats think. But the third reason the terror alert color scheme is ideal surpasses the first two. It matches the spectrum of the rainbow. The terror alert system, in addition to protecting us from terrorist attacks through its irritating shades of orange and red, is also a gay alert system:
Gay people are A-OK.
Gay people help us dress.
I like the funny gays, but not the ones that have sex.
Dem people are going to destroy marriage like a pink Godzilla on Tokyo!
We need Alan Keyes as President.
The system ties in nicely with the red and blue states, doesn't it?
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