Schwarzenegger Speech

In the heated week before the California recall election, Schwarzenegger has had to deal with allegations that he groped women and spoke admiringly of Adolf Hitler's speaking style. Here is an excerpt from a speech he made at a campaign rally this Monday:

[wild cheering]… "Thank you. Thank you. Now, you may have heard some things in the press, some allegations [boos]-- about my past. About who I am. [boos grow louder] Now, I don't know who's saying these things. What's that? You think it's booooostamente? Ha ha ha!

But I will address these things. I have nothing to hide. Have I made mistakes? Yes. I made "Twins." It was a bad movie. But I learn from my mistakes. I saw the script for "Triplets" and I stomped on it. "This is not a good script!" I yelled. "I do not want Robin Williams to play my testicle." And there's another bad script out there. Being read by a failed politician. The title: "I am a Patsy Governor who is About to be Terminated!"

Am I perfect? No. When I was young, I did things that I now realize are wrong. Yes, I grabbed ass. I am not proud of it. But Gray Davis has grabbed your money out of your pocketbooks. And if you keep your pocketbooks in your back pocket, he probably grabbed your ass too. But that is one thing I will not grab. Even if you shake it in front of me. [aside to audience member: "Stop jiggling!"]

Gray Davis had five years in office. What did he do? Tax, tax, tax. And spend, spend, spend. I will not tax, tax, tax, and I will not spend, spend, spend. Will I tax? Yes. Will I spend? Yes. But will I tax, tax? No! Will I spend, and spend some more, like a crazy rapper Sir Spend-a-Lot? No. Never.

"But Arnold," some people say, "What if a meteor is heading for California and we need to build a rocket to destroy it? Will you tax, tax then?" No! I will tell you what I will do: I will punch it! And when I punch it, it will run away to its meteor mommy and daddy, and cry like a little girl, who I thought was legal [laughs] and then no more crazy meteors will bug us again!

There is another allegation. One that so sickens me, I will not even repeat it. But I will say this. I have never had a little mustache! Or a big mustache. Or a beard. Why? Because I am not a lumberjack, even in the movies. And I have nothing to hide.

[wild cheering]