H-H-Hello

I haven't signed up for the national Do Not Call list. And I never will. Because I like telemarketers.

As a person who stutters, telemarketers are free speech practice.

TELEMARKETER: "Is Mr. Poarch there?"
ME: "No. But I am!"
TELEMARKETER: "This is Tim from MCI. Do you spend over--"
ME: "Tim, that's wonderful. Let's talk about sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-shovels."
TELEMARKETER: "What?"
ME: "Sh-sh-sh-shovels. Sh-sh-shovels. Shhhhhovels. Hey! Shovels!"
TELEMARKETER: "I don't understand."
ME: 'And you don't have to. Because I want to talk about how much I'm willing to pay per month for MCI's "Sir Call-a-Lot" phone plan: t-t-t-t-t-t-t-twenty t-t-two dollars."
TELEMARKETER: "We don't offer any plans that low."
ME: "I'm willing to go up to t-t-t-t-twenty three."