Say It Ain't So

President Bush predicted on Monday that the economy will create 2.6 million new jobs in 2004. And he may have ruined the economy by doing so.

You see, in 2003, Bush announced that his tax cuts would create 580,000 jobs. But by the end of the year, the economy had lost 500,000 jobs. (1)

According to my calculations, for every 1.16 imaginary jobs Bush predicted, one real job was destroyed. This is no coincidence. Similar to a proton and an antiproton colliding, these imaginary jobs given life by President Bush are annihilating real jobs. Bush has unearthed, unwittingly, an hitherto unknown cosmic law of karma that has the power to destroy our country. And with today's prediction, the future bodes much worst.

By predicting the creation of 2.6 million imaginary jobs, Bush will destroy 2.2 million real jobs, putting a knife into the staggering economy and sending us back into a severe recession. The trend will perplex economists and politicians, who will label it "the jobless recovery" and try to pin the responsibility on their political opponents. But we will know the real reason: Bush's promise not to rest until every American who wants to work has a job.

This phenomenon is not limited to job creation. Have you noticed how the stock market tanks after Bush speaks about the economy? Wonder where all the WMDs are... after Bush has been saying they would be there for many months? How he praised Cheney often in 2000 and 2001...and now the VP is nowhere to be seen?

The evidence is overwhelming, and we must take action. If we can get word to President Bush and convince him to predict the elimination of 2.6 million jobs, preferably in a nationally televised speech, the karma polarity will reverse, creating over two million jobs and ushering us into an age of relative prosperity and low unemployment.

It would be a gutsy move for him, But once he sees the evidence, I am sure it is one that he will make.

(1) I spent about a hour trying to find a reliable source on how many jobs were gained or lost in 2003. One would think the Department of Labor would have this information, but I could only find the month-to-month change and I didn't trust myself to add them correctly.

A few days after I wrote this post, I stumbled upon the liberal web site The American Prospect's web site, which has different numbers. Are they more accurate? I don't know. I present them for your own judgement:
Jobs promised by Bush in 2003: 1.7 million
Jobs lost in 2003: 53,000
Jobs promised in 2004: 3.9 million

If anyone has more accurate statistics, I would love to see them and hear about how you found them.