The second paragraph in this article, "Torture Rife in Uzbek 'Health Farm' Jail" could have come straight from The Onion.

JASLIK, Uzbekistan (Reuters) - Muzafar Avazov's teeth were smashed and his fingernails ripped out by the time he died, but the head of the Uzbek jail where he was killed says the prison is like a health farm.

"Prisoners live in comfort, eat scrumptious food and play soccer. All is great," said Col. Alikhaidar Kolumbetov, sitting in a throne-like black and gold armchair.