December 08, 2003

Gore to Endorse Dean?

The AP says Gore will endorse Dean tomorrow. If it's true, it is amazing that Gore would back a candidate weeks before the first primary, particularly because of the concerns of Dean's electability. What did Dean promise him, to create a Department of 'Bush Sucks' if Dean's elected?

You know, there are four or five candidates running for the Democratic nomination that would make a good president. It's too bad they can't join forces and assemble into a giant Voltron-like robot. At the debates, it would be 6-foot President Bush vs. 20-foot Demtron.

PRESIDENT BUSH: "I support our troops and what we did in Iraq."
DEMTRON RIGHT-ARM (Kerry): "Don't equate supporting the troops with getting us into an unnecessary war. I spilled my blood in Vietnam, jackass. "
DEMTRON WAVY HAIR (Sharpton): "While you flew the coop, he was one of the troops."
PRESIDENT BUSH: "How dare you call me a jackass?"
DEMTRON HEAD (Lieberman): "That was a little uncivil."
DEMTRON LEFT ARM (Dean) "You want to see uncivil?" [makes middle finger]
DEMTRON RIGHT-ARM (Kerry) [high-fives Dean] "Mission accomplished!"
DEMTRON HEAD (Lieberman): "Now, boys…"
PRESIDENT BUSH: "You either apologize or I'll end this debate right now."
DEMTRON LEFT ARM (Dean): "Sounds good. Clark, would you like to do the honors?"
DEMTRON RIGHT LEG (Clark): "Mr. President, if you could pull down your pants and bend over?"
PRESIDENT BUSH: "What the?"
DEMTRON HEAD (Lieberman): "Wesley!"
DEMTRON RIGHT LEG (Clark): "Say hello to Froggy for me." [kicks Bush in butt. Bush sails across room and into the arms of a horrified Dick Cheney.]
DEMTRON HEAD (Lieberman): [sighs]: "Sometimes I wish I were just a head in a jar."

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