Pronunatin'

A few years ago my stuttering therapist suggested that in addition to stuttering, I may also have a speech disorder called cluttering. Among other signs, people who clutter tend to talk fast (check), revise sentences more than normal when talking or writing (check), and leave out syllables in words (chk).

I was happy to know that I am probably a clutterer because it rhymes with stutterer. It has a kind of cosmic logic to it. I think all disorders, diseases, and quirks should have a buddy:

DOCTOR: "Mr. Jenfry, I have some bad news and some good news. The tests show that you have cancer. But they also show you have a strong genetic disposition to being a dancer. Here are 200 mg of Taxol and a top hat."
MR. JENFRY: "Showtime!"

I mention this because recently, I have become aware that I have been leaving the 'ta' out of 'comfortable'. I'm not sure this is related to cluttering. I just thought that 'comforble' was the correct way to pronounce the word, and everyone else was being a pretentious ass.

To combat this, I have been practicing pro-nun-ci-at-ing the word by bringing it up casually in conversation, like when I was talking to my friend Sean ("Shawn") today.

ME: "My chair is very COM-FOR-TA-BLE."
SEAN: "That's nice."
ME: "Yup, I sure am COM-FOR-TA-BLE right now."
SEAN: "Okay..."
ME: "Hey, let's play a game. I'm thinking for a word that starts with C and means 'relaxed'."
SEAN: "Is it--"
ME: "Give up? It's COM-FOR-TA-BLE."

I'm looking to expand my practicing beyond my circle of friends, as I don't want to annoy them and end up with a dot of friends. That's why I'm trying to get a job as a spokesman for a furniture store.

"Come for the tables! Stay for the sofas."