Jesus Juice

I know it's been a couple weeks, but I can't get over Michael Jackson's name for wine that he served a kid. (Allegedly. Can't forget the allegedly). Right after the wording came out, at least one child molester slapped his head and said: "Jesus Juice! Why didn't I think of that? It makes Happy Sauce look like Homework Helper." Allegedly. The hypothetical child molester may have been too busy taking notes from the trial to be slapping his head. "Ms. Jones. Parent. Not bright. Trusting of people with Ferris wheels."

(The Ferris wheel was invented by George W. Ferris and unveiled in the 1893 World Fair. George Ferris invented the ride to give children of all economic groups a cheap way to soar high above the ground and hover above the city landscape, where he could then molest them).

I almost never pay attention to celebrity trials, but I'm having trouble resisting this one. Every time I think the spectacle can't get any more bizarre, something loonier happens. It's like the witnesses are having a contest where they are trying to out-loon each other. From the AP today:

SANTA MARIA, Calif., April 14 -- The mother of Michael Jackson's accuser told jurors Thursday a bizarre story of weeks during which she was shuttled around by Jackson's associates, made a virtual prisoner and warned that "killers" were after her.

The woman said that, during the entire period, she never tried to call police because "who could possibly believe this?"

Yes, indeed. Who could?