WP Headlines

Bush Tax Cuts Scrutinized
Liberal media apologizes, promises to construct time machine, set dial to "Relevant".

NASA Plans for Hubble Fix
Secret documents reveal Hubble to go down in third; Don King professes innocence.

Wal-Mart in Talks to Build D.C. Store
Store to be half the size of city; White House will be moved to lumber aisle.

Unlisted Verizon Numbers Made Public
Verizon apologizes, promises to borrow liberal media's time machine.

Md. Doctors Ask to Go Insurance-Free
Crazy doctors also ride bicycles without helmets, demand whole milk with cappuccinos.

Fox Attack Alarms Va. Community
O'Reilly spotted frosting at mouth; Brit Hume disoriented, dangerous.

Lost Laurel & Hardy Film Is Found
On first viewing, reel pops out of protector, whacks toupee from head of snotty professor.