Misc.

• If New York were invaded by a giant race of ants, and someone looked at the invasion from the top of a skyscraper, it would look just like a lot of ants attacking a lot of other ants.
  "Who's winning?"
  "I'm not sure. Which side has the ray guns?

• One of the dogs I am taking care of over the weekend greeted me this afternoon with a pile of watery poop on the carpet. The one good thing about cleaning a dog's poop (and there is only one good thing) is that it makes other chores a lot easier. Like cleaning the bathroom. "Hey, my roommate didn't poop on the floor. Awesome!"

• You know you're really rich when you can poop like a dog: on the carpet and have someone else pick it up.