Future Mailing List Changes

1. Rename to “Free Lollipop List”.
2. Remove unsubscribe function.
3. Offer unsubscribe function in exchange for two email addresses. Snicker.
4. Remove ability for list members to communicate with each other. (Update: done)
5. Provide reason for being on list?
6. Add entire staff of Washington Post to list. Repeat for newspapers across country foolish enough to communicate with dirty public.
7. Have contests for prizes that don’t exist, like perpetual motion machines. Or love.
8. Go international. Translate best parts of web page into German.
9. If 1-8 don’t work, change name to “Free Lollipop List…Extreme!”