The Department of Homeland Security today released their terrorism-readiness pamphlet, "Preparing Makes Sense. Get Ready Now." I already called for my copy (1-800-BE-READY | www.ready.gov). If you call, Tom Ridge’s warm, relevant voice will greet you and take you down to a mellow yellow.
The guide covers topics such as:
How To Survive a Nuclear Attack
How To Survive a Dirty Bomb
How To Survive a Well-Groomed Bomb
How To Survive a Biological Attack
How To Survive a Big Mac Attack
Caves: Friend or Foe?
How To Survive Loud Creaks in the Night
Survival Tips For Getting Duct-Tape Gum Off Your Walls
What Will Happen: Hints From Nostradamus
Oh Deer: Deciding To Stay or Go
How To Make a Gas Mask Out of a Coffee Filter, Ziploc Bag, and Roll of Toilet Paper
Moist Towelettes: Your Emergency Lifesaver
Quotes from the pamphlet:
“Terrorism forces us to make a choice. We can be afraid. Or we can be—“
Afraid! Afraid! Boogeyman bad!
“In all Cases, Remain Calm”
Mr. Ridge, my question is this: HOW CAN I REMAIN CALM WITH INCONSISTENT CAPITALIZATION?
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