Suspicions Arise!

I've recently become suspicious of the Dutch. Reason#1: America. Americans. Russia. Russians. Brazil. Brazilians. Holland...the Dutch?

When I'm riding the Name Train, I want to stay on the sensibility track and not get derailed by a bunch of slap-happy windmill whackers who don't want to play by the same nomenclature rules that the other 193 countries play by, minus a few countries that I was unable to research and may also name themselves in an odd way, a number easily fewer than 187.

Reason #2: Why are they so tall? Genetic engineering? Stilts? They have no reason to be so tall. No one invades them, so they don't need to peer over their large hills to check for advancing armies. Tall people are easier blown down by wind, so it's not an environmental adaptation. Why then the six-foot flaunting?

This is a personal issue. My friend's husband, Bart, (mail-order) is 7'9". When I visit, he picks me up by the scruff of the neck and lifts me a few feet off the ground. "HA HA HA!" he booms. "I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU, ALL TINY THERE, LIKE AN ANT IN HIS MOTHER'S CLOGS." His comments make so sense, but I'm three feet off the ground, so I hold my tongue. When he puts me down, I try to kick him in the balls. "WHO KICKED THE BOTTOM OF MY SHOE? FELT LIKE AN ANT, BUT I WAS ONLY KICKED ONCE."

He's a nice guy, and his wife is 3'2", so their kids will be the perfect height, but that doesn't hide the fact that he and the rest of the Dutch are still suspiciously tall.

Reason #3: Dutch oven. Thanks for enriching the world culture, Holland.

Reason #4: Okay, I only have three reasons. But these are very good reasons, and enumerated for easy reference and citing in Wikipedia. Now all I have to do is update the Wikipedia entry, and put the truth out there.

TO BE CONTINUED>>>>>> (I meant to type ...... but held the shift key by mistake)