OMG!!! INTERNET GAMBLING BANNED!

Except that it hasn't been.

Last week, Sen. Frist attached the "Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act" to a port security bill at the last minute. The act was allowed to be attached to the bill late at night on a voice vote, and the port security bill was signed into law by President Bush on Friday.

While there are literally millions of Americans that play poker online, I suspect the media initially picked up the story because of the economic ramifications. Online gambling is taxed and regulated in the U.K. and most of Europe. Poker company stocks traded overseas lost around 60% of their price and billions of dollars in market value.

Money is a great quality for any story. It's one of the Three Media Musketeers, along with sex and violence. Now if only Rockstar Games could create a video game that allows you and a friend to bet on how quickly you can beat-up hookers. They wouldn't even need a clever name. They could just call it "Money-Hooker-Smash" and make a fortune.

The media's initial handling of the story made me realize how easy it is to fool editors. Although the act is named, "Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act" the act doesn't make it illegal to play poker online. It's still legal. The first 3/5 of the bill's title is a lie. The law makes it illegal for U.S. banks and credit card companies to directly transfer money to and from overseas online poker sites.

Yet the act's name says Unlawful, Internet, and Gambling, all in the same sentence. So, according to many news outlets: "Internet Gambling Made Illegal" (or, in a nod to nuance, "Internet Gambling Made Practically Illegal)"

Perhaps it's unfair to except accuracy immediately in a 24/7 news environment. Check 1: The words were in order. Check 2: Screw it. We got check 1.

If the act was titled, "Gambling Internet Unlawful Act Enforcement Poodle" and the AP ran a photo of a pink poodle in a cop uniform beating up a computer playing poker, then I'd have more of a case.

The arguments against online gambling are absolutely ridiculous and inconsistent with how we treat similar activities. If you can day trade from the privacy of your home for as much money and as long as you want, why can't you do the same with online poker? You can even play for much lower stacks online than live. The minimum stakes at a casino is usually $1/$2--every online site offers games for $.10/$.20.

Alcoholism is a terrible problem, but that doesn't mean we should ban alcohol. We tried that before. It's called...I forget. I had too much to drink tonight. But if our government isn't going to stop me from crashing my car into a 7-11 and run around the store naked with a Slurpee cup over my crotch, then it has no business trying to discourage people from gambling online.

Most arguments by poker players in support of online poker playing are sound, although some of them try too hard. My favorite is one I heard on a poker radio show: "By letting us gamble at home, it keeps us from driving drunk on the streets." Way to win the hearts and minds, guys.

There are a lot of interesting background nuggets about the situation.

* Sen. Frist's motivation. He has been continually pandering to the religious right to secure their support (and dollars) for his Presidential run. Remember Terry Schiavo?

* Anti-gambling groups have been trying to get a bill like this passed for years. One reason they haven't been able to up until now is because the now-disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff worked to prevent any anti-gambling ban that would hurt his clients, the Indian casinos. Abramoff's work tainted online gambling in a way. "If he defended it, then it must be bad."

* While the bill is difficult to enforce, and most poker players use third-party payment system already that aren't affected by the law, public online gambling firms have pulled out of the U.S. market, which is 1/2 of the total online market. The reason is that, as publicly-held companies, their operations and relationships with banks can't have any hint of illegality or being involved in a legal gray area.

* PartyGaming, a public company with a 50% market share in the U.S., has pulled out of the market, leaving a huge vacuum for private companies to seize.

* Most of poker's recent popularity has come from televised poker shows. These shows get a significant amount of revenue from online poker sites. It's unclear how many of these shows will survive now that some companies no longer operating in the U.S. has no reason to advertise in the country.

* There are a lot of angry, life-long Republicans who play poker and say they aren't voting Republican this year because of the bill. I don't think it will affect any elections though. There's a big online tournament on Voting Day.