I saw this on a screen window in the kitchen of one of my dog walking clients.
"Warning: This screen will not prevent a child, or object, or anything from falling out."
Get some self-confidence, screen window. When I tossed Brewster a ball and it bounced over the sink, who stopped it from going out the window? You did. When the neighborhood was invaded by carpenter bees, who stop them from flying in the house and stealing Brewster's kibble? You. And I don't see any flies in the house. Must have been the frog. Oh, wait. Brewster ate him. Guess we have a certain perforated stranger to thank.
Screen window, you are more important than you think. You are the gatekeeper, the TSA agent, the club bouncer. You keep the riffraff out and let the air in. Look, no one is expecting you to keep a child out. If someone tosses a baby at you, you can only do so much.
At the same time, no one will be surprised if the baby happily bounces off you and into the arms of the gypsy outside who was trying to return it. You're more special than you think.
2 comments:
(This is a note I'm writing to myself. If I could attach it to the post without anyone reading it, I would.)
"At the same time, we won't be surprised if the baby happily bounces off you and into the arms of the gypsy outside who was trying to return it."
"At the same time, no one will be surprised if the baby happily bounces off you and into the arms of the gypsy outside who was trying to return it."
Was deciding which phrase to use, "we won't" or "no one". I thought "no one" was better because "we" is a stronger mental image than "no one", and any mental image here would distract from the joke, the image of a gypsy tossing a baby at a window.
Though at the time: wanted people to save "visual focus" for the joke and not stimulate the generation of a mental image until the joke, so it would have maximum effectiveness.
But in the end, the joke is on the gypsy!
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