June 09, 2007

Are We Being Too Hard on Paris?

A reenactment of the past week:

SHERIFF: "Do you want to finish your sentence at home?"
PARIS: "Really?"
SHERIFF: "Sure. Three days in jail is enough. You can do the other 42 days as home arrest."
PARIS: "Thank you so much!"

Paris goes home. A few hours later, the Sheriff's phone rings:

SHERIFF: "Hey."
JUDGE: "Did she buy it?"
SHERIFF: "Oh, yeah. It was hilarious. Her face lit right up."
JUDGE: [laughing]: "Oh my God. This is going to be great. Get one of your guys to bring her to the courthouse. Tell her the judge needs to speak with her for a few minutes. Tell her it won't take long, and to leave her things."
SHERIFF: "This is so wrong."
JUDGE: "I know. Isn't it awesome?"

At the courthouse:
JUDGE: "Paris, I have some bad news. We're putting you back in jail. Right now."
PARIS: "What? But he said I could do my sentence at home!"
JUDGE: "Lee, did you tell Paris she could serve her sentence in her house?"
SHERIFF: "Don't believe I did, Mike."
PARIS: "You liar! Yes you did!"
SHERIFF: "Hold on a second. Let me think." [Sheriff strokes his chin slowly.] "Hmmm. Hmmmmmmm. Wait, yes! Yes!"
PARIS: "You remember?"
SHERIFF: "I remember that 'The Simple Life' sucked. Now get your scrawny ass back in your cell, bitch."
JUDGE: "Oh! Smoked!"

[SHERRIF + JUDGE give each other a high-five. An officer shakes his head and escorts PARIS out the courthouse.]

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ha! Awesome! Hi Jason, Thanks so much for the great mix cd you made for me. I hope all is well. Glad to see you're still writing and I'm glad you found our little blog.