Wha...? Political parties try to get people to polls? Virgina winner decided by votes? Ye gods, what happened to tradition of yore: selecting a townsmith based on the plumpness of his grandest goose?
Lawmakers Might Use Clout to Get Hospital Funding
Plan B: Use clot.
Artificial Joint Makers Lobby Hospitals Vigorously
Joint makers shake fists in jarring, stilted fashion.
Writers Str...see ya!
(Original headline: Writer Strike Set for Monday)
Sugar Industry Expands Influence
Sugar to appear in NutraSweet, diabetic ice-cream, salt. You can't stop the sugar. No one can stop the sugar. Except...
"VO: Coming this summer. A sugar industry infiltrated by terrorists. A people addicted and under siege. All hope is lost. Except for one man."
(Visual: A wood door explodes, creating a cloud of dust and debris. Through the cloud steps Christopher Walken, holding a machine gun and weighed down by several ammo belts.)
WALKEN: "I gotta say, the door. I was expecting more of a BOOM than a KA-POW."VO: "Christopher Walken is...Sweet Justice."
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