* During one of my walks, a woman with a worried look on her face stopped her car and rolled down her window. "Have you seen two dogs with leashes running around?"
"No," I said, "but maybe if you loved them, they wouldn't have run away."
* I got annoyed at one of the dogs I was walking and called him a mutt. He was hurt. I tried apologizing. "I'm sorry. It was in the heat of the moment. I know you're not a mutt, Lancelot. Do you want a treat? Who wants a treat? Who wants a treat?"
He didn't want a treat. He was still mad at me, until this happened: 15 seconds passed. Dogs have horrible memories. Stupid mutts.
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