(Pancake City Posting Policy Addendum: All responses to comments will be made in the area formerly known as the "post".)
Hi,
Tina mentioned that one of her professors liked the blog. I thought she was making you up. Once, when one of my friends was over, Tina tried to bring out some embarrassing pictures of me as a child. If you ever want to hear some embarrassing stories about her, just let me know.
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People always say, "Lift with your legs, not your back." Screw that. I like my legs too. Why can't we lift with something useless, like your pinky toe? Or lift with your appendix?
FRIEND: "How'd the move go?"
YOU: "So-so. A few of my friends couldn't make it, so I had to lift the sofa, the TV, and the dresser by myself."
FRIEND: "Are you okay?"
YOU: "Yeah. It was no problem. I lifted with my back hair."
FRIEND: "That was dangerous. Why didn't you lift with your appendix?"
YOU: "It was too busy making dye for my urine."
FRIEND: "The appendix does that?"
YOU: "Yeah. How'd you think it turned yellow, magic elves?"
FRIEND: [sobbing] "Yes, yes I did. Why did you destroy my world?"
YOU: Because I am Godzilla. [bursts out of human skin, grows 50 feet. Dusts a building top with fire.]
FRIEND: [looks up] "Well, that was unexpected."
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