More Frightening Than Freddie Krueger

My roommate entered the bathroom right after I took a dump. It was like a horror movie. I swiveled around in the chair in my room as he grabbed the doorknob. "Noooooooooo!" I yelled, my vocal chords undulating in slow motion. But it was too late. The door cracked open and the putrid spirits of the Netherbowl flew out, spiraling down the staircase like a drill and scaring away dust balls, Freon, and the faint smell of socks.